A Quiet Fire by Magnolia822

Official Description:

“But true love is a durable fire, In the mind ever burning, never sick, never old, never dead, From itself never turning.” Ten years after a tragedy parted them, childhood friends Edward and Bella meet again. Can what was lost be recovered? E/B Some OOC

Do you remember your first best friend?… How about your first crush?… What about your first kiss?

I am completely enamored with this story, if only for the sweet feeling of nostalgia it evokes. In fact, it had me reminiscing about the days when everything seemed much simpler. Before I knew it, I was recalling my firsts, along with Bella… first boy I was smitten with… first bra… first cigarette. Mind you, only the last two happened within the same day– kidding! Magnolia has many strengths as a writer, one being her firm grasp on adolescent nuances, which are pertinent to a story like this, in setting a realistic tone.

Initially, I was a little hesitant to start this one, given the obvious elements of angst plainly stated in the summary and the fact that I’m a wee bit of a wussperv. But the story is so immersive and Magnolia writes beautifully and handles the angsty plot with a delicate hand, that even given the somber content, makes the angst bearable.

The prologue opens with a brief glimpse of twenty something, Bella, hauling ass to her first graduate class at the University of Chicago. She arrives late. But there is a certain someone that is even less punctual than she. Someone whom she’s not set eyes on in a decade’s time. This ghost from her past has the same copper hair and penetrating green eyes as the boy that once possessed her heart long ago, but now, is most definitely a man. The moment they lock eyes, Bella can’t help but be transported back to a simpler time, years before any impending calamities struck….

“Have you ever been kissed, Bella?

I am shaking my head, blushing. He makes me nervous now in a way he never has before. He’s only 15—soon to be 16—but he seems like so much more of a man to me, the two-year age gap between us expansive. I bite my lip and realize I’m still shaking my head.

He chuckles. “Would you like to be?”

I almost gasp . . . is Edward asking me . . . if he can kiss me? My throat is dry as I nod, the word struggling to make its way from my brain to my mouth. Yes. YES.

And when his lips meet mine it’s nothing like how I thought it would be. His mouth is soft and gentle; he brings his hand to my face and cups my cheek softly. It is brief but when he pulls away I am left with a strange sensation, a longing that I’ve never felt before. Almost without volition, I touch my finger to his lips. Mine tingle.

“I wanted to be your first,” he says, smiling as he kisses the tip of my finger.

“Me too.” The words finally come and I know they’re true.

*daydreamy sigh*

There are many reasons as to why I adore this story, namely, Edward and Bella’s history and their simply sweet dynamic. Young Bella shares a special bond with both Edward and his lovable, younger sister, Alice. Luckily, Bella finds some much needed refuge at the Cullen house, temporarily escaping the exhausting burden of dealing with her mentally ill mother. As Edward and Bella mature, so do their feelings for each other. Even given their young age, they’ve got this inexplicably palpable emotional intimacy that is just so honest and pure.

Suddenly, catastrophe ruthlessly strikes and Bella is abruptly torn from her life in Elgin, and Alice and Edward. (FYI: Here’s where the angst creeps in, kicks you in the shin and runs away, leaving you with a pang of hurt and about a bajillion questions).

After about six chapters in, we are thrust back into the here and now- back at the university. They are both left wondering why the other is acting as if they don’t know them, neither having a clue as to why the other hasn’t made any effort to contact them in the expansive time frame. So, consequently, that leaves them to draw their own conclusions; which makes for a bitter, angry Edward and an upset, completely confuzzled Bella.

Much to their dismay, they’re assigned to work together on a project. Tension runs high. And in order for them to work together, they agree not to talk about the past.

“Can I just ask you one question?”

“That depends. What’s the question?”

“Are you . . . alright?” His voice is low and a little shock runs through me when he reaches out and touches my arm. I flinch back instinctively and he removes his hand, a hurt expression marring his features.

“I thought you didn’t want to talk about the past,” I whisper.

“I don’t. I’m talking about the present. You don’t have to answer me. It’s just that I never thought I’d see you again and I . . . ” He leaves the rest unsaid, an undeniable sadness in his voice I don’t know how to read.

And whose fault is that?

Of course, ignoring the big fat pink elephant of the past can only last for so long! To say I was surprised by Edward’s monumentally devastating news would be a gross understatement. (You know.. crying and reading don’t really mix.. it takes special skill to do both simultaneously. Let’s just say, my improved aptitude for doing said skill is due to Miss Magnolia’s obvious penchant for bringing me to tears!) Though to be fair, this story is quite balanced, as it has given me just as many warm fuzzy feelings and butterfly flutters. I may have swooned over groceries.. js.

Before you know it, you find yourself hoping and praying for things to soon be salvaged. And just in time, an inebriated Edward (thank fuck for two-buck Chuck!), finally musters up the (liquid) courage to get some answers. And alas!.. Life-altering information is divulged! But before you can breathe a sigh of relief, more questions are raised. Did something.. or someone intentionally intervene, trying and succeeding at driving them apart? Bella is begrudgingly forced to question the loyalty of the two people with whom she’s spent the last ten years of her life with back in Forks.

The unfortunate events have evidently shaped who they are now. But there are these little shining moments where it seems like no time has passed, like they’ve just reverted back to being kids again.

“Well,” he says, sighing. “We could spend all day talking about how the last month could have gone differently . . .

But instead I think we should call for a do-over.”

“A do-over?”

“Yeah. A do-over.”

I laugh a little at the thought. It reminds me of being kids again, but perhaps that’s appropriate. Edward smiles and extends his hand and I stare at it confusedly, not sure what he’s asking for.

“If you agree, we have to shake on it,” he says, raising his eyebrow.

Tentatively, I reach out, gasping a little when his warm, large hand envelops mine. It’s like our hands remember each other.

We stay like that for a minute, neither of us speaking or acknowledging what we’re doing is more like holding hands than “shaking on it.” Touching him like this in the light of day seems much more intimate than the comforting embraces we’d shared the night before.

“Do you think we can be friends again?” he asks softly.

“I’d like to be.”

“But . . .” His voice is hesitant and sad, but I have to be honest. I do want to be his friend. I do. It’s just that I don’t know what that means anymore.

“It’s just a lot to process . . . for both of us. I mean, I thought of you one way—and so did you, think of me, I mean—and now it turns out all that wasn’t true.”

“So you don’t think . . .”

“I don’t think we can ever go back to what we were, Edward.” I say, tears welling again. I brush them away, angry that some things are irretrievable.

“That’s true. But maybe we can be something else. I’d like to get to know you again. If you want.” There’s that sadness again—why does this have to be so difficult? Yes, we’re different people now, but I’ve seen enough to know that the Edward I knew, my Edward, is still here in this man before me. What will he think of the new me?

“I’d like that,” I say, not admitting that I’m also scared. What if we find out that there’s nothing left to salvage? I think of his story, hidden in a box under my bed. For a second I contemplate showing him, but then I imagine going over and getting it—the exposure—and I decide to wait.

They are still a bit reticent regarding their ‘relationship’ and unsure as to who they are to each other now. Not to mention, there are certain things that are preventing the progression of their relationship, e.g. Bella’s other ‘obligations,’ (she better take care of that shit, quick!) Though, with every chapter, they are slowly warming up to each other.

Thus far, the UST isn’t blatant… but it sweetly subtle and ever-present burn.

Memories of the night before come flooding back—we’d talked so late into the night, I must have just fallen asleep in my clothes. Somehow during the night the distance between us has dissolved, and he’s now laying flush against my back, wrapped in the same blanket he covered me with hours before. I notice his head rests on his arm next to my pillow, his own probably abandoned on the other side of the bed. And his other arm . . . is around me. My heart stutters in my chest, rendering me fully awake. Move. I should move away. But I don’t dare to stir lest I wake him. And it feels nice . . . really nice. I know it’s not good that it feels nice but it does.

Oh and I love this awkward/endearing exchange of texts:

I’m not expecting the next message.

My pillow smells good. Like your perfume.

I’m not wearing any.

Well, then I guess it smells like you.

I re-stow my phone, fiddling in my bag for my keys with shaky hands. A few minutes later, just as I enter my apartment, there’s another message.

Was that weird?

Never have I had such a fraught internal debate over what to reply. If I say ‘yes,’ or even ‘a little,’ he’ll feel bad. I decide to go with just a simple “No,” even though it’s a complete and total lie.

Okay. Don’t mind me. I’m an idiot.

No you’re not.

Bella still has things she needs to share with Edward, like her favorite day or the fact that she still keeps his notebook under her bed. And though Edward has already told Bella that she is beautiful- scars and all, she doesn’t believe it. He needs to make her see that she is beautiful.. preferably in a valiant amorous pursuit *grin* Though, for once, I am okay with Edward and Bella taking their time, not rushing into things *checks temperature* I suppose that is a pretty good testament as to how much I am just enjoying the ride. Besides.. my inner lemon h00r is sitting back, taking comfort in the fact that it is, after all, rated M, so lemons will come And when they do.. Whew! -Their quiet fire will flare and morph into a crackling, roaring one.

Now skedaddle, go read! Like. Right. Now!

Well, what can I add to this rec? I just want to say that I really like this story. I’m curious to find out what happened to the letters that Bella, Edward, and Alice wrote to each other. I can’t wait for Bella and Edward to figure out that they should be together. I hope you’ll check it out

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