http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5236811/1/Alton_House
Official Description: Thoroughly modern Bella Swan wakes up in 1815 and discovers polite society isn’t always as it appears. Do reformed rakes make the best husbands? This AH bawdy romp through Regency England is rated M for stylized metaphoric 19th C. lemons.
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shell29bell says: I first saw Alton House rec’d a couple weeks ago and put it on my to read list. Ya’ll know the one…5, 10, 100 fics you plan on reading once you finish whichever one you’re on…Yeah, that list.
I’d see it mentioned here and there, but it was the lovely ScarlettLetters who finally pushed me over the edge to read it. NOW.
This fic sucked me in like a Hoover and had me giggling like a young girl who has discovered her first playboy magazine. RedVelvetHeaven will agree that this fic has turned me into a puddle of fangirl goo at the feet of Velvetglo.
When the story begins, we learn that modern day Bella has been jilted and is on a path of self destruction that would make any Emo proud.
One tragic accident later and Miss Swan wakes up in 1815 England, confused, but blessed with memories of her ‘past’ as well as her present.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is where the fun starts. The mystery of why she’s there and the question of how in the world will she get back are quickly put aside to dive head first into the beautiful writing and scandalous storyline that Velvetglo has bestowed upon us.
From sexual innuendo thrown into polite conversation to blatant seduction, we are taken on a wild ride with twists and turns in every chapter.
Velevetglo takes something as simple as playing footsie under a card table and creates an erotic vision that sets my heart to hammering.
Velvetglo has done a superb job of taking our beloved trio of gentlemen and making them devilish rakes, yet lovable at the same time.
The eldest Hale sisters are naive regarding men and sex while their youngest sister Jane has been self educated. This leads to some hilarious and awkward situations and makes Jane the quintessential bad girl we all love to hate.
Save yourself a step and don’t even bother adding this to your ‘to read’ list.
Open a tab and read it. NOW.
Then give our lady some love ’cause she deserves it.
MF’er says: Shell pretty much said everything I wanted to say, but if you’re still reading, here’s my take: Bella is a woman scorned after her longtime beau decides that ending their engagement via text message on the night of their rehearsal dinner is a good idea. She seems dead set on adding half of the city’s male population as notches to her bed post in order to get over the brutal breakup. It’s during on of these reckless encounters that sets the story into motion… Bella goes from riding Mike in a moving vehicle to waking up in the year 1815. She remembers what she was doing before, but also has no trouble with memories or experiences in her current circumstances… she thinks she’s dreaming and we’re left wondering: Is she dead? Is she dreaming? Coma?
Bella settles into her new life, existence? – rather comfortably, enjoying the quiet that having no new-age distractions provides. She’s moved from her Aunt and Uncle’s home, The Dwyers to live at Alton House, where Lady Hale (Esme) and her three daughters (Rosalie, Alice and Jane) currently live. Little miss Jane is quite the girl, and dare I say – a bit of a peeper! The curious little girl learns about sex in a pretty unconventional way and sets out on her own journey to discover all there is to learn. She begins using one of the grooms from the stable as her own personal ‘toy’ and poor Tom, he tries to resist her… but he’s no match for the little vixen, LOL.
Due to unfortunate circumstances, the Hale’s are being forced to move to a neighboring property because in the event of her husband’s death, the home was inherited by a long lost cousin, Sir Emmett McCarty. The arrival of Sir Emmett brings a flirty young man who has a penchant for subtle innuendo that will totally leave you covering your mouth to giggle like a twelve year old boy. We learn that he’ll be bringing some friends back from London with him to live at Alton House and soon we meet Edward Cullen and Jasper Whitlock. While Jasper is a virginal naval lieutenant who was injured in the line of duty and has trouble with women, Edward is… well, let’s just say he doesn’t have trouble finding his way around a girl. Edward is unconvinced about coming to Alton House and the boys decide that a little wager is in order… whoever the first one to get his hands under the skirts of one of the ladies, wins.
With their arrival back at Alton House, the boys leave less than the best impression with their first meeting of the ladies. Alice’s comments about the boys will make you giggle:
“Well, I do not. I had high hopes that Sir Emmett’s friends would be as diverting as he. I am not pleased to discover that one is a mute booby and the other a patronizing snob,” said Alice.
Unsurprisingly, their opinions of the boys quickly changes and soon we find the group of six setting off for a walk in the woods that will leave you all swoony and *thud*’y:
“Clever boys know how to get pretty girls alone to steal a kiss.”
*fainting* again… and that’s where I’m going to leave this rec because honestly… you need to read it and experience everything for yourself, you will NOT be disappointed. The obvious research of the times that Velvet has done to write this and the way it’s used is really clever and fun, and you’ll definitely enjoy getting into this story and loving these characters right along with us. 
RedVelvetHeaven says: When someone you trust and adore is jumping up and down and going all school girl crazy over a fic, you know you have to read it! So when my girl shell29bell said that I ‘have to’ read this story, I did. And O.M.G….she was not lying. I’m usually skeptical about stories where the character goes back in time and I we
nt into to this one feeling the same way, but Velvetglo did not disappoint. Rather opposite in fact. She created a way for this to actually completely enhance the story instead of detract from it. She immerses you into 1815 immediately and I absolutely feel like I’m there. Shell29bell’s review really does say it all, so there’s not much more I can tell you about the story with out giving too much away. I can say that it’s amazing! I can say that I’m as enthusiastic as shell was when she rec’d it to me! I can say that 19th century Emmett, Edward, and Jasper are just about the sexiest things I’ve read in a long, long time! This is definitely ‘a run…don’t walk to read this’ kind of story. And you just may never see horseback riding the same again after chapter 3! Now go…read this…really!!! Enjoy 
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