Official Description: Her glass is half empty. His is half full. Together they may just cause an over abundance of…liquids. Seattle’s #1 anchor and her new camera man may be perfect for each other; if only the truth could be caught on film. ExB – AH – M
–
Why should you read Bad News Bella by 107yearoldvirgin? Well, first of all the author, I have read several of her stories and loved each and every one, Eight Days a Week being a personal favorite. Second, Bella is a news anchor, Edward is the camera man and Bella has a problem with saying the wrong thing on air. A perfect example is from chapter 5 that Bella says while on air:
“Tonight we’d like to take a moment to honor a local law enforcement member who got a very prestigious award today. Seattle’s own Officer Riley Biers was awarded the much anticipated Top Cock Award…”
And this epic fail from chapter 3:
‘And then, Edward was crouched in front of me, shielding my face from the flailing legs of the beast and scooping me up from my pile of shit and…that’s…when…I puked on him.’
Followed by this:
“I puked on you…I smell like shit…I have…shit…on…my…hands!”
Bella is attracted to Edward but she has her reasons for thinking that it cannot work with them, none of which have anything to do with the fact that he is a cameraman and she is a lead anchor nor does it have anything to do with a lack of things in common, it’s more of a shall we say ‘physical nature,’ I’ll leave you to decide what that means, or you can read the story and find out for certain.
You get the picture, it’s funny, there is a big of UST it’s a great read. One more word that will hopefully piqué your interest to read this, the most recent chapter title ‘Vagazzled,’ again I will leave that to the reader to figure out what that means.
I hope you take a chance and read this story, I know it has given me a great deal of laughs on days I have needed a break from fanfic HF. Oh and it’s only 8 chapters in so it would not take long to get caught up.
There is nothing that 107yearoldvirgin could write that I wouldn’t love. With that said, even if I didn’t bow down to her greatness, Bad News Bella would be on my list of favorites. It’s witty, fluffy, adorably cute, and as with all of her other stories, it’s absolutely hilarious.
How could you not love this Bella?
He threw a dirty look my way and shook his head while pulling his shirt up a little to get the wetness off of his chest. My eyes landed on the exposed skin of his abdomen while the shirt rose higher and I wasn’t quite sure how long I’d been standing there staring at him, but he cleared his throat to get my attention.
His tummy was pretty.
Pretty tummy.
Want to touch it. A little.
Then there’s Edward, who is completely irresistible.
Company picnics didn’t seem like something I would have been interested in before going to work for WTWI. But they seemed like a hell of a lot of fun if Bella was going to be there. In shorts. And possibly a little tank top where her bra straps would be hanging out.
“I’m a douche,” I lamented and pulled the pillow across my face.
I liked her, which was obvious to anyone within a ten foot radius. But, I liked her for other reasons than just for being hot and successful. She was fun. Funny and quirky and smart…but she was also inadvertently sexy.
If you haven’t checked it out already, run don’t walk. You don’t want to miss out. Trust me.
There are very few authors who are as talented as 107yearoldvirgin. She can take you from the depths of despair to laughing your ass off, from drama to funny, from panting fuckhot to crying in 5.2 seconds. The way she describes things and the feelings that her words evoke–she’s unparalleled.
Bad News Bella is no different. It’s hilarious. But more than that, it’s real.
Grabbing my bottle of wine by the neck, I pulled it sloppily over to my hip and licked my lips. Taking a huge swig of the red, I placed the bottle back on the floor and wiped my mouth with my hand. My vision was growing foggy and I was feeling lightheaded, which made me feel better, if even for the moment.
These pictures were dumb.
And Tyler was ugly.
His repulsive face was in all of these pictures. I snorted a little and folded one in the middle. I looked half decent in that one. Gripping the scissors next to my leg, I held the crease open slightly and stuck my tongue out of the side of my mouth as I concentrated on surgically removing the moron from the picture.
When it was done, I smiled. Now it was just me. Alone.
And that was when it hit me: I was alone. I had no one. Not even that idiot Tyler and his terrible skills in the sack. Or his lady-like ‘come face’ that always made me think he’d be a good cross dresser. At least that was something. Someone.
No I had no one.
Which is when reality set in and I allowed myself to cry.
It’s hot:
Slowly, I pulled each of her shoes from her feet and slid my fingers up the leg of her jeans to remove her socks one at a time. Her feet shifted a little when they were gone and I let my hands remain on her calves, outside of the jeans while I crawled my way up her body, sliding fingers over denim as I did, looking her in the face the entire way.
She didn’t flinch. She didn’t make any move to escape. She wanted this and so did I.
And tonight we would have it.
And of course, it’s funny:
“Seriously. I mean…it’s a really nice situation you’ve got here. It’s pretty.” I looked up into her flush faced and sighed. “I want to, like, live here.”
“What?” She sat up a little, confusion making her face scrunch up.
“I want to live in your Muff Cave.”
Bella leaned back a little and scooted away from me. “Umm…”
“Yeah, I could just…crawl up in there. Live like an Indigenous man. Bring a blanket. You could give me snacks. It would make a comfy house, right?”
“Did you just call my vag a house?” The look of horror on her face struck me as funny. Why was she upset? It was a compliment. At least, I thought it was.
The other reviewers have done a great job at telling you about this fic. You don’t need to see mine to know that you should read Bad News Bella, and not just because she uses giant peens as her story dividers. She’s the renaissance woman of fics, and you will seriously be missing out if you don’t read everything this girl writes.
Recent Comments