Company Loves Misery by AngstGoddess003

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5577199/1/Company_Loves_Misery

Official Description: AH-Edward, current recovering alcoholic, former bully of Bella Swan, must make amends to the one person who refuses to give them. Written for FGB Auction/WA Rehab. Adult Situations.

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EZRocksAngel says:  Right after the Fandom Gives Back Auction, AG comes to me and tells me the WArehab girls spent a ridiculous amount of money for her to write a fic.


I can tell the wheels are turning. Story planning is pretty much her favorite thing. Ever.


So she tells me three ideas. One is about Edward the agoraphobic recluse. The second about a mortuary (for serious-this fic will be made one day-she brings it up every 8 weeks) and something else that didn’t interest me.


So she proposes the three to the WAR ladies and they pick one. Which is great and AG begins brain storming.


And then it happened.


And it’s totally my fault. I confess. Company Loves Misery came out of my failure as a friend. I admit it.


Back at ComicCon we were all at dinner and someone (americnxidiot) spoiled the movie Remember Me for me. (don’t worry I won’t spoil it-PROMISE). I assumed that AG was next to me when this happened. As I went into a total panic, but apparently I must have blacked out and this was like one of the three times we split up the entire trip because the day she was working on her FGB Auction idea I said, “OMG I JUST READ THE SCRIPT FOR REMEMBER ME AND YOU HAVE TO READ IT TOO,” thinking of course she knew what it was about.


This was not the case.


So the next day I get on my g-chat and Sam has left me ugly messages. Things like “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS” and “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU” and “WARN A GIRL NEXT TIME.”


Oops.


So then we catch up and I apologize and she is like all super emo and distressed and worried and confused and she says, “I’m not doing that fic idea.”


Huh?


Yeah, apparently my blind side messed with her head so bad she started thinking other things (Which btw, CLM has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN COMMON WITH RM) and out of that came Boozeward.


Whom, I love.


There are currently seven chapters up on FanFiction. So far we have learned the interesting tale of Bella Swan and Edward Cullen and their unfortunate past.


He traumatized her.


She freaked out and her parents moved her away.


He becomes…Boozeward and she…she becomes a hardened pessimistic, sad woman.


Honestly, he was already drinking too much when their incident occurred—as Edward was a train wreck waiting to happen and Bella was his unsuspecting victim on the tracks. CLM is the story of how one moment can change your life. One stupid act—can fuck it for everyone.


Edward fucked up royally from what we can tell. He is repentant now, we see him at AA, surrounded by his sponsor, Jasper and the other struggling addicts. He’s looking for a job—any job so he can prove himself. Alice is happy to have her brother back after years of fighting, stealing and heartbreak. Carlisle has taken over the group to ensure his son has somewhere to go. There is tension—and one minor slip up could set his family tumbling again. And Edward? He’s trying. Desperately to cross the names off his list and make amends. The problem is Bella is the Holy Grail of his sins and she isn’t interested.


Bella though, is struggling on her own. Charlie has recently passed and he left her his, crumbling, in disrepair house. She is bitter and angry—and quick to pull a shot-gun on uninvited visitors.


Things are tense and awkward. They have both crossed lines they may possibly not be able to take back. Will Edward win absolution and will Bella find peace?


Here’s the thing when you read a fic by AngstGoddess. One, we know it will be heavy on the angst (obviously), but second, gah, we never know if we are going to get a happy ending. I mean, Edward could fall off the wagon and booze it up at anytime. Bella could turn into a spiteful bitch that never learns to forgive. She is one of those amazing authors that keep us on our toes—a happily ever after is not a guarantee. Which of course is why reading her is such a great pleasure.

mozzer0906 says: I’ve tried writing this review a million different ways and each time I keep coming back to making it about me somehow. Finally I just decided to give up trying to not make it personal and just go with it. Indulge me, I have a point.


When I put this on our calendar, I wasn’t thinking straight. I was in a OMG I love this so much frenzy and with our two weeks off I wanted it on as soon as possible. However, if I had been thinking straight, I wouldn’t have picked this week to try to write up a review for this. Not this week. You see eight years ago this week my father died. He struggled with alcoholism my entire life.


I say this because perhaps you will understand my emotional state while trying to write this up and why I am making this review so personal.


I’ve come to learn that sometimes the fics that draw you in and touch you so deeply is because they hit a personal cord with your life. They reach you in such a way because you feel the comfort of something you know. It gives you an opportunity to re-think aspects of your life and reactions, to look at them through another pair of eyes.


Certainly I’m no stranger to loving on the fics of Angstgoddess003, but this one, this one is different for me. It has all of the components I’ve come to love about her writing, a fantastic inner monologue, quick witted characters, tons of angst and passages where I read and I think “this is so freaking good”, but this one goes beyond just “this is a great story”. This one reaches into my heart and drags out all of my pain and happiness and feelings. It touches me because I can understand all of the characters.


For the vast majority of my teenage years, I certainly WAS Bella – angry, bitter, untrusting, isolated. I connect with her on so many levels because I’ve been that angry girl.


I understand Carlisle and Esme, because certainly as a young girl and then again as a young woman, I realized how to separate the man from the disease. They weren’t the same person.


I understand Alice because sometimes no matter how supportive you want to be, you just get fed up with IT always being part of your life, consuming you, shadowing you with its ugly darkness.


I also understand Edward simply because so many of this thoughts and motivations I’ve heard out of my own father’s lips. I can’t hate him for his actions because I know he wasn’t in control of them at the time. That isn’t to say he doesn’t have personal responsibility, it was the disease more than the man. There is probably a little bit of “I can’t hate Edward because I don’t hate my father” thrown in for good measure.


I think these characters are all written to perfection and are infused with so much rich emotion that I am drawn to each of them.


I also enjoy how this fic swirls around the idea of the importance of redemption. Because it is something we need so much, both to give and receive, in order to move on, in order to complete ourselves. Regret is so powerful an emotion and to be stuck in it for so long will tear your soul into pieces. For Edward it took him down even further into his addiction, for Bella the regret of feeling so powerless has defined her life for so long.


I’m not sure if Edward will ever find his true redemption. Like Angel, I fear that he will fall off of the wagon again – true recovery is a constant lifelong struggle, one usually filled with pitfalls along the way. I worry that Bella will never be able to let go of her anger and find the inner peace she had long ago. With every chapter, I’m biting my lip in anticipation to see where these two will end up next. I know what I hope for for all of these characters, but not knowing if they will even find a sliver of peace makes it interesting.


I knew I was going to need tissues for this fic before it was over and as I sit here, just having finished chapter 7, writing this review, tears streaming down my face, I was obviously right.


These aren’t unhappy tears, they are tears that remind me why I love this fandom so much, because fics such as Company Loves Misery makes me feel deep emotions for these characters. I feel a connection to them that will remain long in my heart after they are gone. My personal history is probably part of the reason I’m so bonded to Boozeward and Bella, but even without it I know I would feel a connection. I think the key to this is how well you are treated to the inner thoughts of Edward and Bella, to understand their struggles and fears.


I’m really looking forward to seeing how this all turns out. Good or bad, angry or sad I will be there every step of the way.

MF’er says: I can’t, and won’t try to compare with what both Angel and Shannon have had to say in regard to CLM, I just wanted to throw in my love as well. As with Shannon, I have my own personal history with alcoholism, which is part of the reason I have fallen so hard for these characters, already. I can sympathize with Bella’s anger and with Edward’s desperation for redemption of all the things he has done wrong in his life. I am along for the ride, just like these girls, for whatever AngstyG has planned. You should be as well, because if you’re not, you’re missing out.