Cowboys Have Fangs, Too by Pastiche Pen

Official Description:

When you’re a Cullen, you’re supposed to be a nice vampire. You’re not supposed to want to kill librarians—or drink the drill team—or have a map of scars. And you’re certainly not supposed to want to exsanguinate Edward’s human. Aw, hell. Canon.

Word Count: 23,744

So, if you read last month’s column, you might recall that I spent a little bit of time discussing how I (personally) categorize vamp fic. In my take on the world, there are essentially three main classes: 1) Canon, 2) AU, and 3) Canon AU.

Thus far in this column, you’ve seen a rec for 2) and a couple for 3). Well, because I’m a thorough kinda girl, this month… we’re going with 1). That’s right, back to basics, straight up Canon.

There are a lot of preconceived notions about what Canon is and what it is not. Like I said last month, for me at least, it simply means that nothing from the original saga has been changed. The characters are the same. The events are the same. The ending is the same. Canon fics include things like missing moments or scenes, pre or post saga events, and of course, there’s always the alternate POVs.

What it doesn’t mean is that it’s boring or that it’s just a retelling. Quite the contrary. “Good” Canon can be absolutely amazing. Why? Because “good” Canon can actually add to SM’s story and become part of what you consider to be the books. Yeah, you read that right. A good piece of Canon ties in so seamlessly that you can actually really and truly envision the fic events occurring inside of SM’s world. When that happens, frankly, you have something pretty darn special.

Before launching into this rec, I should probably go ahead and get this out of the way. Pastiche Pen is one of my favorite authors of all time. I’m not lying when I say that she has more stories on my favorites list than any other fic author out there. She’s one of those writers who I kind of flail and fangirl over no matter what fic she posts.

Her writing is always, always just so… good. The words she puts on a page always work. They’re beautiful without turning purple. They’re meaningful and poignant without being pretentious or oblique. And to my sheer delight, she actually writes real, dynamic action sequences (not a common things to find in fic, by the way). And her range is incredibly wide; with equal ease, she writes humans, vamps, humor, drama, angst, and even a little horror – sometimes all at once.

So it’s not surprising that she would be the one to get me (a primarily ExB girl) to read something Jasper-centric.

And dude (yes, I still say ‘dude’), I’m so glad she did.

Cowboys Have Fangs, Too is, like I said above, a Canon fic. On a basic level, it’s essentially a series of Twilight snippets through Jasper’s eyes.

Except… it’s so much more than that.

Mixed in with all the little Canon moments, PP gives us is a fantastic look into the mind and history of a character we never really got to know. She breathes life into his backstory. She makes sense of his thoughts and his gift and the reasons he behaves the ways he does. At the same time, she shows us sides of Alice that I can guarantee you’ve never seen – Alice is not only likable, but also surprisingly… hot. There are some wonderful conversations with the Cullens; I love, love, love the bits we get to see with Emmett about Edward and his new-found love interest.

And… PP does it all with a wry wit and voice that makes you laugh and that feels just right.

Normally, Jasper was the weak one. He was the one interested in all of the various ways to guzzle cheerleaders and exsanguinate chess club boys. He was the one with Edward meddling the most in his mind and with Alice most watching his future. He was the one whose hunting Esme kept calendar charts of.

That was until Edward up and fled off to Alaska—because he wanted to drink the new girl.

Jasper had a good laugh over that one.

Until Alice hit him.

One thing I really love about this fic is that behind those snarky little lines, you find a really good story that takes you all the way from when Jasper was turned, to meeting Alice, to meeting the Cullens, and then, of course, through Twilight.
The detail that PP puts into Jasper’s experiences just pops. It comes alive in your head; when you read, you feel like you are right there inside Jasper’s head.

Jasper took a long breath—not because he needed the oxygen, but because he needed to steady himself. He needed the control. Across from him, the newborn’s chest moved up and down as she panted and paced in front of Jasper. She was edging right, left. Left then right. Her movements were quick but defensive. As much as she wanted to attack first, she was trying to restrain herself. She knew Jasper had the advantage.

Screw that.

Jasper took the anger that he’d been holding in the barrel of his chest, and he unleashed it. He aimed it like a whip and snapped the string of it at her.

She acted as he’d expected.

There was a screeching snarl, and she lunged.

That’s awesome, isn’t it? I warned you that I love action. And PP gets what it means to write vamps. When you read this fic, there’s no denying that Jasper is what he is and that you are really reading from the perspective of a vamp. There’s violence and bloodlust, strength and restraint, intelligence, history, and a lot of feeling. It’s just a delight to read.

I mentioned before that in this story you also get a surprising and lovely view of Alice, too – one that made me, at least, shift my perception of her character a little. In most fics, even the Canon ones, you really only see her as a side character. She’s a friend, a tool, a meddler, etc. But here? Here you get to see Alice as a woman, too. I absolutely loved those scenes because they gave both characters so much life.

Because Jasper’s finger were under the white hem of her uniform, guided by the curve of her thigh and up and into the crease between her legs. His nails were catching on embroidered lace as his hand pressed. His fingers searched the curls beneath. The moist, sweet tang of venom caught the air when the fabric lifted.

“Sir…” she whined with a weak protest.

“I think I’ll die without you,” Jasper answered with a grin, his fingers never stopping.

“I think you’re already dead,” she growled back—but the threat held no weight with her eyes unable to focus.

“As long as I make you feel alive first.” And then he rolled her underneath him.

I’ll stop quoting now. As I’ve said before, I love PP’s writing more than probably healthy, but rest assured that it certainly shines here. This story is a relatively quick read, but it’s one you won’t forget. And I can guarantee that after you are done, some of these scenes will become part of what you call SM’s Twilight. They’ll live inside your head and they’ll fill in the blanks where SM left off.

Also, one last thing that I must mention. There’s a scene in the last chapter that just kills me ded. I won’t tell you what it is or any details, because I really, really want you to read. It’s one of the sweetest, most romantic things I’ve ever read. It’s not fluffy or maudlin. It’s just… guh. That’s saying a lot coming from me; I’m usually not one for such. But if you don’t read anything else, at the very least read that last chapter.

Hell, read it all. Now. Get yourself over to Pastiche Pen’s page ASAP and read this fic. While you are there… you might as well just read all of her other fics, too. You won’t regret it. I can promise you that.

Until next month!

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