Relative Wind by mac214

Official Description: The Mougar cometh! A steamy day at the drop zone turns into more than Bella bargains for when she meets her new roommate’s father. A tale of May-December relationships, father-daughter dynamics, and the happiest hooha in Philadelphia. Very citrusy. AH.

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With the second round of The Fandom Gives Back coming up, this is a great story to rec. This AWESOME multi-chapter story was commissioned by Athena during the original FGB and I couldn’t be more appreciative because it quickly became a favorite of mine.

Several weeks ago I asked for DILFward fics on Twitter and I had a couple stories rec’d to me and chose Relative Wind first. I am SO GLAD I did. I devoured it on Monday night and have read the complete story three times…with a few chapter being read several more times than that.

Why has it become such a favorite fic? I honestly have no idea, but the descriptive way mac_214 writes just blows me away. I never feel like I’ve read something before after I devour another chapter of Relative Wind. It also helps that the sex in this story is unbelievably hot.

I’m going to also let you in on a secret…Edward is a Mougar. What’s a mougar? Cougar + Male = Mougar, lol.

So…the story, shall we?

Bella goes skydiving and gets hit on by her sexy skydiving instructor. There’s a moment that all of her verbal filter flies out the door while he’s helping her into her flight gear.

“How do you feel?” he asked.

“Like I should be on my knees calling you Master,” I said before I could stop myself. “Oh shit, sorry.”

The corners of Edward’s mouth twitched, but he didn’t say anything. I felt like the biggest idiot on the planet.

Some groping takes place while they’re falling out of the sky, followed by a quick romp in the back office that Bella assumes is a one time thing that Edward does a lot. She doesn’t expect to see him a week later when her new room mate moves in and finds out that Alice and Edward are related.

We get to see a little bit of her hilarious BFF relationship with Mike who is absence for most of the story.

“This is a huge step. You know what that means, right?” Mike’s wolfish grin overtook his face, and I worried. Last time he had looked like that, we ended up sky diving.

“Uh… celebratory milkshakes?”

“Bonding time,” he declared. He cleared his throat, stood up straight, and gestured grandly with his arms. “As Isabella Swan moves into the next phase of her life and celebrates becoming an adult, we will mark this day with a grand gesture. A gesture so big it will become permanently ingrained in her psyche. And I, Michael Newton, will share this moment with her by,” he stopped and turned me toward him, pointing behind him to a storefront along the boardwalk…

Another hilarious character is Esme, Bella’s older sister that gives every person she meets a lesson in a form of STD that you’ll just have to read about for yourself. All in all, this is a story I know I will be reading again and again. There is a big twist that I don’t want to spoil, but I bet once you read the first couple chapters you’ll figure out. Read it, you won’t be sorry!

Thank you so much Athena for commissioning this great story and mac_214 you’re so awesome for sharing your talent with us.

Before saying why I love this fic so much and why everyone who reads this will love it, I just have to thank those who bought Mac214 for the FGB auction. I’m hopelessly addicted to everything she writes (Ultio, Things That Go Bump in the Night, Love Park). Okay, fangirl moment over.

Reasons to read it:

Hot older Edward? Hook.

Hilarious non-canon characters? Line.

Crazy psychotic daughter? Sinker.

I’m not sure what I adore more about Mac214‘s story, the epic lemons or the humor she is able to put into situations that would normally be deemed too fucking crazy. It is fanfiction afterall, so I guess nothing can be considered out of line.

I know if my sister sat down and gave me lectures about genital warts, I would be mortified and I’m sure that would be the end of our relationship. Somehow Esme (yes, Esme) is able to not only properly inform Bella about the dangers of sex sans a condom, but Edward as well.

Edward peeked around the corner. “Is she gone?” He looked odd… pale and shaken.

I jumped out of my chair and rushed to him, patting his arms and chest, looking for something wrong with him. “Are you okay?”

“Esme gave me the genital warts lecture. She had photos.”

The premise is Alice first becomes Bella’s roommate, and Bella quickly finds out that Alice has a very attractive dad. Meet Edward. The sincerity that Edward brings to the relationship is refreshing and heartwarming. He knows that he will always love his daughter (regardless of her bat-shit crazy antics) but realizes when to stop self-sacrificing and be happy for himself. It’s a new take on an old concept. If Edward was self-sacrificing, he did it with his former wife and has learned how to grow and be happy again.

It’s a great love story with a ton of laughs, and if if the story isn’t quite enough, then read the outtakes. They’re just as good.

I found Relative Wind after reading Ultio, and I am negl, this is one of my favorite stories. I love that Edward is a mougar, I love that Bella doesn’t let anything stand in their way, and I love that they just are.

They are so sweet together, despite the obvious obstacles.

“What now? Should I give you my class ring?” He tickled me, and I squeaked, laughing loudly. “How about an ID bracelet?”

“What, were you born in the fifties?” I teased. “What did kids do in the eighties to proclaim their lurve?”

“It usually revolved around letting some girl beat me at Ms. Pacman and growing a rat tail for her.”

“I don’t know what the hell a rat tail is, but I’m out.”

“How about I just make love to my girlfriend instead? Will that work?” My body was on high alert again, but the exhaustion had instantly vanished.

“Why, Mr. Cullen, how very forward of you!”

“Well, Miss Swan, I’d like to take you upstairs.”

“Oh, would you? And what then?” I loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top of his shirt, letting my fingers graze the wiry hair of his chest.

“I’m shocked. A sweet woman like you digging the dirty talk?”

If you are looking for a great story that is real without weighing you down with a lot of emo, then I highly suggest the fuckhot fun that is Relative Wind.