Said and Done by ICMezzo

Official Description:

Graduate students Edward and Jasper feel the connection, but is it enough to overcome their differences? EdwardxJasper slash, human/vampire love. RATED M.

Word Count: 130,466

Don’t miss the outtakes and futuretakes, Said and Not Quite Done.

I feel so honored to recommend ICMezzo’s supremely enjoyable vampslash comedy, Said and Done.

This story is a pure gem of humor and sweet delight that will lighten your heart and make you laugh out loud (and I’m not a big “laugh-out-loud” girl so this is a rare and welcome gift!) But beyond the giggles, this is a smart story, riddled with well-placed bits of academic intellect and a wacky but genius take on the practical consequences of vampire/human relations.

ICMezzo has done a brilliant job of taking each vampire characters’ particular idiosyncrasies and multiplied them by ten (and perhaps in Edward’s case, added a heaping dose of caffeine,) creating a much more adult story filled with fascinating explorations of things like relationships, sex, and practical living when set against the backdrop of immortality.

The plot of the story centers on Edward’s attempt to navigate a friendship with a human for the first time ever with his college classmate Jasper. Much to Edward’s surprise, Jasper develops a romantic interest in Edward that throws him into a tailspin of confusion and obsessive questioning of himself. He turns to his family for advice and assistance which frequently allows them to have raucous fun at Edward’s expense. In fact, these are the most outrageous, fun-loving Cullens I’ve ever read, whether they’re convincing Edward to find out what happens when a vampire drinks soda or trying to use makeup to help him combat the sparkle on a hiking date.

Edward is every bit the obsessive-compulsive vampire from canon but magnified to levels of extreme geekiness that are both adorable and hilarious. While Said and Done’s vamps don’t have “special powers” beyond those already inherent in vampires, Edward finds many ways of using his super-human talents to make impulsive decisions that often result in hysterical consequences. Particularly when it comes to trying to woo Jasper or take care of what Edward thinks are Jasper’s human needs. For instance, when Edward discovers that Jasper likes blueberries? He spends the next 24 hours forcing his family to help him bake every imaginable blueberry recipe using dozens of pints of berries and then arrives at Jasper’s door with a carload of his offerings. Endearingly overboard.

Ultimately, Said and Done is a love story between Edward and Jasper that is sweet, honest, silly, and sexy. It is a pure delight to read, start-to-finish. It combines stellar writing with a killer sense of humor and style. It is perfectly balanced, containing just the right amount of funny lines and clever anecdotes without being overkill. The characters ICMezzo has created stay true to themselves throughout the entire story, making their journeys meaningful, and their subtle progress gratifying.

[dcs_p]I watched, trying to be tolerant as he undid his zipper. God, humans were so slow sometimes. I growled, impatient.[/dcs_p]

[dcs_p]“Well, I’d let you do it, but you always end up ripping my pants and I’m starting to run out,” he explained.[/dcs_p]

[dcs_p]I thought for a second, recalling the various times I’d disrobed him. I suppose he was right. There was that one time when I ripped the zipper entirely off his favorite jeans. Another time the right leg of his khakis just seemed to separate from the left one—I really had very little to do with it. And that other pair of jeans now had that huge hole in the crotch the size of my right hand. And there were those gym shorts that I really loved too. It was really pretty sad that they didn’t survive the encounter I now fondly thought of as The Great Dry-hump of 2010.[/dcs_p]

[dcs_p]I frowned. “Sorry, Jasper.”[/dcs_p]

[dcs_p]“Oh, it’s fine. I just like this pair,” he shrugged stepping out of his jeans. I nodded.[/dcs_p]

[dcs_p]“What about your… um… underwear?” I asked, trying to sound casual when he didn’t remove them himself. I mean, mine had to stay on of course for safety reasons, but Jasper’s, his were just decorative.[/dcs_p]

[dcs_p]He looked down. “You can remove those,” he said, blushing a bit and climbing back up on his bed and lying back down. “They aren’t my favorite so it doesn’t matter if they don’t survive intact.”[/dcs_p]

[dcs_p]I growled again and I didn’t even try to hold back. Within a second his underwear was shredded into tiny confetti-like pieces and I tossed a handful into the air to rain down over us.[/dcs_p]

[dcs_p]He looked at me like I was crazy, but I just shrugged. It seemed appropriate to celebrate Jasper’s underwear a little.[/dcs_p]

[dcs_p]But when I watched the pieces land on Jasper, covering a good 2.3% of his body, I realized how foolish I’d been. I needed to see all of him. So I took a deep breath and blew it out across his skin, causing the cloth bits to go flying, and Jasper’s body to tremble delightfully.[/dcs_p]

As one of the most unique, enjoyable, darling stories I’ve found, I’d encourage everyone to read Said and Done. And I can almost guarantee that at least a few times you will think to yourself “I can’t believe she really went there!” And, you’ll like it.

[dcs_p][/dcs_p]