Scotch, Gin, and the New Girl by withthevampsofcourse and jandco

Official Description:

Les Liaisons Dangereuses, je croix. We were Cruel Intentions. We are Gossip Girls. We do not care. At all.” all-human.

Word Count: 115,727

Don’t miss the sidenotes and outtakes: Tanqueray & Tonic and Other Assorted Cocktales

When we decided to do this new “Rec Rewind” thang, I knew that I wanted Scotch, Gin, and the New Girl to be the first fic that we featured. With very few exceptions (*waves at moonwitche*), I won’t even be friends with someone unless they’ve read this story. There used to be a quiz and everything–I needed serious help. I’ve read hundreds of fics, and this has always been my favorite.

One of the most asked questions that people ask me is Why? Why is this my favorite fic? Usually, I get all tongue-tied and am completely unable to express exactly why I love it. I mean, look at the previous rec for it (at the bottom of this post). Great doesn’t even come close to describing this story. Beautiful. Gut-wrenching. Inspired.

On the surface, this story is about a bet–actually, a couple of bets. Rosalie and Alice bet Edward that he can’t get Bella into bed and Rosalie bets Bella that she can’t resist Edward. At its heart, though, this story is much more. So, in order to get everyone who hasn’t read this amazing story (really? I didn’t know such a person existed!), I’m going to give you the Top Ten Reasons You Should Read Scotch, Gin, and the New Girl:

1. Edward

Of course, my number one reason that I love this story is because of Edward. He’s funny. He’s cocky. He has a penchant for drinking Scotch (natch). He’s swoonworthy, even when he’s being an ass.

Let’s relive Bella’s first glance of Edward, shall we?

Then I saw him pointing at me.

Gorgeous, bored, beautiful, arrogant Edward Cullen was pointing at me.

I resisted the urge to look over my shoulder.

His eyes burned in to me, but his bored expression never changed and his finger kept pointing directly at me.

Rosalie had found a spot next to him and her hand snaked around his chest; still his finger stayed pointed like a gun at me.

Did he want me to go over there?

I did.

His eyes stayed on me the entire time I walked over there.

“What?” I asked.

“You look like fun.”

“I am.”

“Why don’t you sit with me?”

He was sandwiched between Rosalie and an intriguing kid who had a dangerous grin and shaggy I-don’t-give-a-fuck hair.

“Nowhere to sit,” I shrugged so coolly, even I was impressed.

Edward glanced down at his lap and then back up at me.

What’s a girl to do?

I couldn’t fuck him, but I could sure as hell get a feel for what I was missing.

I perched myself on his lap and took the glass of scotch from his hand, then took a sip.

“Thanks,” I said, standing up. “I needed a stiff one.”

“Anytime, sweetheart,” he smirked…

I love the way his character develops throughout this story. I love everything about him. He has so much depth, I can’t do him justice here. Trust me, getting to know Scotchward is reason enough to check this fic out!

2. Bella

I love this Bella because even though she’s strong and totally not a pushover, at the heart of everything, she’s still a girl–a girl who has feelings about a stupid boy. She has a great personality and her own sense of style. I really had a hard time choosing what to share with you. I love how vulnerable she is without being a damsel in distress. She deals. She’s fierce:

My teeth ground together and my nails dug sharply into my palms.

In Forks, people manipulated and blacklisted people they didn’t like.

In Arizona, they just kicked the shit outta them.

I decided I’d done enough to conform to Forks, so it was time Forks did some conforming to me.

I’d start with a chick fight.

3. Jasper

*sigh* This Jasper is my favorite Jasper, ever. He’s suave. He’s smooth. He sees.

He’s been friends with Edward and Emmett since they were little kids, but when the new girl, Bella, shows up, he finds something more. They are best friends with the potential for more.

“You can’t hang with the chief tonight; you gotta come to poker at Emmett’s house,” he said, and he didn’t whine it, like Newton would have. He stated it, like it was fact.

“And why do I have to do that?” I asked.

I would have told anyone else in this school to fuck off, but I liked Jasper.

He was absolutely non-pretentious and didn’t do a damn thing to make himself fit in- yet, just by doing that, he fit in.

Shopping at Target and not having a five hundred dollar hair cut made him a rebel to these people, and every cool crowd has a rebel.

“Plenty of reasons, new, naïve Bella,” he said, draping an arm around me.

He smelled like soap and sandalwood, not Polo- like everything else with a penis in this school did.

Under his school-regulated blazer and tie, he wore an old Doobie Brothers concert T-shirt.

I liked Jasper. He might just be my only ally.

“Enlighten me, Jasper,” I said, letting his arm stay wrapped around my shoulder.

“I want to be friends,” he shrugged. “You know Coleman, you like gin and, fuck- you might be the only other person in this school who has actually eaten Target trail mix. I think we might be best friends.”

He’s deep and is his own person and just…yeah. Ginsper is the epitome of cool.

4. Other Characters

Scotch, Gin, and the New Girl has the most awesome “secondary” characters of any story that I can think of. The characters are so developed, you feel like you know them. This has got to be one of my very favorite Emmetts ever.

We pulled up to what Emmett fondly referred to as his ‘crib’ and I felt sick.

Alice had decked the place out in white, shimmering twinkling lights and I could hear music and laughing and all-around debauchery coming from the house.

I got out of the car and slammed the door then ran up to the porch.

Emmett was sitting on the steps, leaning against one of the six marble columns.

“And you know we don’t give a fuck cuz it’s yer berfday…” he greeted Fitty style, smiling up at me lazily, obviously drunk.

“Hey, Em,” I said, and I decided what I’d do with myself that evening.

I sat down and leaned on the column opposite of him and tried not to look in Edward’s direction, though I did hear a few faint squeals of his name coming from a few underclassmen.

“You sad?” Emmett asked, pushing off from the column and peering into my eyes.

“Not for long,” I said and he handed me his drink…which happened to be a forty ounce of Olde English wrapped in a paper bag.

I took a sip, then another.

“Happy Birthday, Bella,” Emmett said, kind of swaying his head to I Got Five On It.

“Great song,” I mumbled in between sips of the O.E.

“Hell yes, it is,” he said.

“Thanks for letting Alice throw a party at your house or whatever,” I said.

“Thanks for giving me the excuse to have a bash, Playa.”

…

“You’re a down ass girl. You’ll be aight.”

“Yeah,” I sighed.

“You need me to break someone’s knees or something? Because I will. And I’ll get away with that shit, too.”

The other characters are amazing, too. You’ll feel Newton’s doucheyness and want to slap Rosalie yourself. And the parents? Best. Carlisle. Ever. Charlie’s a blast, and Renee and Esme’s walk down memory lane is one of my favorite things that I’ve ever read. Not many people can pull off such depth of characters at all–let alone in just a few (okay, 21) chapters, but the incomparable jandco and withthevampsofcourse do it–flawlessly.

5. It’s High School

High-School fics are my favorite. Kids can be ridiculous and it’s okay. Even when they’re playing in a grown-up world and dealing with adult issues, High School fics are the only stories where the characters making stupid decisions and even stupider mistakes is okay, almost expected. There is freedom in youth that isn’t possible later in life. Scotch is the quintessential hs-fic.

6. It’s HeartichokeySpectacular

This story has an amazing plot. When I read this story, I didn’t know there was such thing as an HEA. I was biting my nails and on the edge of my seat with every update. The drama is so dramatic. The heartfail will make you want to hurl. The characters have amazing banter. It’s hilarious. The whole story is just compelling.

The next day, she didn’t come to school.

Nor the day after.

I was kind of going into a mild panic mode.

I know I could have called, but I just didn’t.

I still had my pride.

But by Friday, when Emmett showed up sans Bella… I started to worry.

Time to swallow that pride of mine.

I drove to her house. The Chief was gone, which was a good thing. Her barely functioning truck was half on the lawn, half on the driveway. I walked up and tried the door, but it was locked. I looked for the key, but it was missing. Puzzled, I walked around the house and noticed there were no lights on. Praying to the Gods of obsessed teenaged boys, I climbed the tree outside her bedroom window and looked in, but she wasn’t there.

What’s more- she had moved her dresser right in front of the window.

The message was clear. I was not wanted.

Fuck.

7. Music

This fic has amazing music. Old School rap and A Whiter Shade of Pale. ’nuff said.

8. UST

The UST in this story is off-the-charts hot.

“You’re acting like an arrogant prick.”

“News flash, darling. I am an arrogant prick.”

He turned on his bare foot and kicked the door open.

I huffed and went after him, holding the waist band of his soccer shorts I had taken to wearing for pajamas.

“Don’t walk away from me,” I hissed in the dark hallway.

“Grow the fuck up,” he growled over his shoulder.

“Me? That’s rich. And lower your voice. We don’t want to wake Mommy. This isn’t an approved slumber party.”

He stopped abruptly, making me crash in to his back.

“The hell—”

But he spun me around so my back was pressed to the wall. On either side of my head he had a palm resting on the wall.

“Don’t. Don’t push it,” he said, his left hand thumping the wall with each word.

All I could see was the exact spot where his thin white short-sleeve met the skin of his bicep.

I’m sure I wasn’t meant to, but I liked his frustration.

Something fierce and scary was brewing between us…and I wanted it.

“Don’t. Ever. Tell. Me. What. To. Do,” I said, lowering my chin and pushing him further.

There are lots of moments filled with frustration. You’ve just got to read it.

9. Lemons

I know that none of you h00rs read a story just for smut. *gasp* But, I want you to know that this fic has one of the hottest lemons I’ve ever read. It’s so good, I’m not even going to quote any of it here. I’ll just start you off with this:

Yeah.

More.

All of her.

10. The Lake

It’s a metaphor. It’s literal. It’s important.

I will never, ever forget the feeling of just pure exuberance that I felt when I read this:

“I’m in”

11. Target

You didn’t really think I could narrow this list down to just 10 things, did you? *shakes head* I’ve told you how awesome this story is, with an amazing plot and fabulous characters and great music and everything else. If you still need convincing, ask yourself this: Have you ever read another story that used Target as a means to help a character find himself (or herself)?

I climbed into the Cadillac and took off, lost in thought. Last night had my head all twisted and fucked. And I wasn’t sure why. I had a bet to win. I had the girl panting for me. I had two girls waiting for me.

I knew what I had to do, and I hesitated.

Before I realized what I was doing, I was on the highway, heading away from Forks. Running from my issues?

I just drove, listening to stupid soft rock that I wasn’t aware existed as a radio station.

And then there it was, shining. Like a beacon. That damned Bullseye. My eyes narrowed, like it was taunting me. Challenging me with its low prices. Fucking Target.

I exited, turning into the parking lot. And there were fucking cars there. Who fucking goes to Target at eight a.m. on a Saturday?

There are many, many more reasons that I think you should read this fic. Read it for the genius that happens when jandco and withthevampsofcourse team up. Read it for the chick fight. Read it because I won’t be friends with you if you don’t. Just read it.

Here’s what we had to say back in the day:

Kassiah says: This is my favorite fic of all time. Like I go to sleep quoting parts of it. My dreams are mostly based on SG&tNG. I love it, it is deep in my soul. Why? It has all kinds of win: Amazing character development, snarky teens, fuckawesome Edward, poker games, a lake as a metaphor, gin slurpees, superhot lemons, a trip to Vegas baby, saving porpoises, Rosalie getting bitch slapped, hand-holding in the cafeteria, references to target, an old watertower, a wallet chain, old-school rap, and vinyl records. I could go on and on, but Trust. Just read it. And then find me and tell me how much you love me that I suggested this to you. Because really, after you read it, you are soo gonna wanna meet me and buy me a drink: your choice. The authors have also provided us with some wonderful sidenotes: Tanqueray & Tonic and Other Assorted Cocktales.

MF’er says: Yeah. What she said.