Settling by theladyingrey42

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5423909/1/Settling
Word Count: 9,819

Official Description: Bella settled for Emmett. Then his best friend Edward came into her life, along with his wife and daughter. What will she do when she realizes the only thing she wants is all that she can never have? O/S for Ninapolitan’s DILFward. AH/OOC, BxE eventually

–
Annanabanana says:

“It began on a Sunday morning.”

And truly, it did.

At the mere mention of Settling by theladyingrey42, and anything else she writes really, I turn into an effusively babbling mass of incoherency. Why? Because her writing speaks directly to my gut wrenching, chest clenching, tear jerking synapses. Because there just aren’t words. Because I have to save her overwhelming stories for quiet times when puffy eyes are acceptable. Because I would steal her hastily jotted notes on bar napkins if I could.

This one shot was written for a DILFward contest, and I constantly have to remind myself of this fact. Not because it doesn’t fit the bill perfectly, but because it is so much more. Theladyingrey42 delivers real, flawed characters, a poignantly bittersweet story and prose so poetic I feel the need for a new descriptor.

As the title suggests, Bella is settling for a comfortable life with Emmett. He embodies the easy smiles and booming laugh of the canon Emmett we love, but he is not so simply defined, surprising Bella with the juxtaposition of a culturally aware intellect and a bawdy sense of humor in their first meeting. While Bella cares for him, she is clearly agreeing to just-good-enough in a life with him for fear of the hurt and uncertainty associated with her past experiences.

“After all, wanting had never led to anything for her in the past.”

Her pleasantly safe existence with her fiancé becomes infinitely more difficult when she meets his married best friend Edward. At once, she sees in Edward all of the possibilities inherent in a life of not just-good-enough but is equally reinforced by his unavailability.

“The lines of light danced off the brilliant surface of the wine, echoing the diamond on her hand and the ways her future felt so fluid, and yet so confined to hidden paths like glass that she could only barely see.”

Edward is a loving and doting father. So “enraptured” with his daughter, he is devoted to a marriage with Rose which meets only in the middle at a small girl with green eyes and curls where Rose does not love being a mother as she loved the idea. “And Bella loved to watch the simple glow of them together, a halo of warm and rose as love passed from father to child in simple touches, little bits of time.” Bella silently falls in love with little Lizzie as much as her father, spending time together as friends, as couples.

Emmett and Bella are married because the only thing she wants is unaccessible to her.

“Months of sunken longing and settled toes in tricky sand grew into years.”

After years of marriage and coupled companionship between Emmett and Bella and Edward and Rose, even the warm friendship permeating Bella and Emmett’s relationship has dissolved. She is alone, and moments of friendship between Edward and her are just as lonely as they are craved. Their loyalty infuses the breath between them, every unrealized touch, as they bond over shared love for his child.

“It ended on a Tuesday evening.”

And truly, it did.

I want to tell you so much more, to reveal all of the beautiful, heart wrenching ways in which this story unfolds, but I can’t. It needs to be unwrapped properly and with reverence. I won’t tell you this ends with a “Happily Ever After,” not because it doesn’t, but because it doesn’t matter. It ends the way it should, the way the story should be told.

Kassiah says: I was first introduced the beauty of theladyingrey42‘s writing when I read her entries for the Tattward and Inkella contest. This was her entry for the DILF contest, and it is amazing and poetic, and should not be missed. The story she tells is beautiful and so well-written. You just have to read it right now.

It starts out with Bella, content in her relationship with fiance Emmett, preparing to meet his best friend. Their meeting is one of the most descriptive moments that I have ever had the privilege to read. The imagery that theladyingrey42 uses is so vivid, drawing in each of our senses and completely enveloping us in the moment that they are experiencing. Bella has a moment of clarity, meeting that stranger:

And in that moment, staring into his eyes, she felt as if he were looking into the silent places inside her, like he could see the foundation settling beneath her, everything settling, and the cracks now forming in solid ground upon which things had rested for much too long.

Looking at this stranger, she saw her whole life before her and the ways she had settled for less than she wanted in order to protect her damaged heart and to meet the expectations of those around her. And suddenly she didn’t feel like settling anymore. In her mind’s eye, she saw her wedding dress, starched and stiff, satin and train in a mothballed closet just waiting for the day that it would be worn and discarded. And she understood at last that it was wrong. That it should have been less sex and more intimation – black and white photographs instead of glossy magazines. It should have been lace and old things, timeless romance and a day painted green, with a veil that kissed her cheeks and made her blush seem like something more than flustered nerves and missed chances.

I want to tell you so much more about the this story. I want to quote so many things to you, how they progressed, the way she describes EVERYTHING that is going on around them, provide details to show what makes her unparalleled to any writer I have ever come across. Settling is emotional and beautiful and just unexpected. I don’t want to give away what happens. I just want you to read this. I don’t say this flippantly: you will be missing out if you don’t experience Settling.