Official Description:
Bella is a math teacher by day, a strict Domme by night. Edward is a sub looking for someone to punish him for his misdeeds. Probably the only BDSM comedy you will ever read. Probably the only vamp-subward you’ll ever meet. NOW COMPLETE!
Word Count: 76,559
BDSM fic is so prevalent in our fandom. Why? Well, for one thing, the fandom is comprised mostly of thirty-something women who were gagging for smut beyond the fade to black honeymoon scene in Breaking Dawn. Our imaginations went to kinky places in fic. Yep, we’re apologetically a bunch of pervs or whatever.
So in a fandom overflowing with smut, why should you read Sub Plans? Because it’s hot and fucking hilarious! The brilliance of SnowWhiteHeart’s BDSM comedy, Sub Plans, is that it doesn’t take itself too seriously. Enter Bella Swan, unapologetic Domme:
To say I was excited for our first scene would be a gross understatement. Tomorrow, a dark lover would appear. A lonely vampire who desired domination. I could give him what he wants. And he, oh yes, would give me what I want. I wanted that beautiful face to regard me with reverence. I wanted that lovely mouth to tell me filthy things. And I wanted that marble form to pleasure me in a thousand different ways. The vampire thing is kinda trendy and cliché lately, but I’m definitely still intrigued.
Oh, did I mention that not only is this a BDSM comedy, it’s also Vamp AU? Fucking, yes! How awesome is that? Bella is a teacher by day and sexy Domme by night, while Edward is a Victorian virgin vamp who just happens to like to be tied up and beaten. I think my favorite character would have to be Bizzy, though – she’s Bella’s vagina. Bella describes her as the true Domme as Bizzy calls all the shots:
Bizzy chose this moment to start cheerleading. I shook my head at her indiscretion. “BE AGGRESSIVE! B-E AGGRESSIVE!” she shouted at me. I decided to comply and roughly shackled Edward to the floor and wall.
He was completely immobile, and his senses were seriously restricted. He was aroused and ready for me, and I sure as hell was ready for him. I slid the condoms down on him, and thanked God I had a pack of Magnums because that boy was huge. Bizzy urged me not-so-patiently to get on with it.
While this is in essence a comedy, Ms. Snow manages to weave an angsty harmony unexpectedly into the straight-forward melody of this fic. Bella’s character is damaged by something that happened to her in high school, something that molded her into the Domme she becomes. Edward helps her to heal through his love for her and his acceptance of her.
Do not read this fic if you are offended by wit, sex, mild bloodplay, lulz, and smart women.
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