Official Description:
Edward made a decision after that second biology lesson. Two years later that decision is challenged.
I try to avoid reading Twific AU’s, not because I dislike them, but because I like them too much. I’ve been writing my own AU for a little while now, and when I encounter a really good AU Twific, it saps all my creative drive – I want to live in the world that the author has crafted instead of pushing to complete my own. So, I’ve been sticking to AH stories for a while now, breaking down and visiting the AU corner of this fandom only when I can’t help myself – when the rec comes from someone I truly trust, or the premise of an AU grabs my imagination and demands that I read it immediately.
The latter excuse for self-indulgence is what brought me to a compelling little tale by windchymes, entitled “The Decision.” In this parallel-canon story, the story veers from Twilight following the first conversation that Edward and Bella have over their biology lab assignment. He decides that preserving Bella’s life is worth the cost to the Cullen family of a hasty relocation, and so that brief encounter is all that our “star-crossed lovers” share. But it’s enough – for Edward, anyway, because the memory of this girl haunts his ever-waking thoughts, bringing him to the realization that he loves her:
His thoughts of her were always complex and confusing.
She was all at once a source of comfort and despair and it had been that way for a while now. Which was an improvement, really. Because in the beginning it had just been despair, pure, absolute and crippling.
But that was before he had understood. He sighed and laid back on the ground now, eyes closed, arms folded comfortably behind his head.
Edward loved Isabella Swan.
He loved her unconditionally, absolutely, with a purity and depth that no human could ever fathom.
It’s the selflessness and self-loathing that caused Edward to leave in New Moon, but put into action so much earlier in their love story that he can’t be faulted for abandoning Bella. Instead, he fantasizes about all that his exit has allowed Bella to accomplish – he imagines her attending college somewhere warm and sunny. What he discovers, instead, is that she’s won a scholarship to the University of Chicago and shares a flat across from Edward’s family home, which chance brings him back to inspect when his former tenants leave.
Chance. Fate. Whatever you’d like to call it – it’s enough to give Edward a second chance to face his decision all over again. When he left her the first time, he didn’t know that he loved her – now he does, and he has to decide what it will cost to walk away from her a second time. For now, he’s enjoying the opportunity to get to know a more mature and confident Isabella Swan, and their interaction is all of the sweetness tinged with angst that you may remember falling for in your first reading of Twilight, but from the perspective of a century-old teenage vampire:
Edward had never been on a roller-coaster and now he wondered if this was how it felt. Everything was up and down. His heart was in his mouth, his stomach dropped, his head was spinning. His white-knuckled fists were clenched tight, now. He wanted to yell with excitement.
And fear.
Although there are, to date, only four chapters published, they’re quite long and satisfying. Written realistically from a third-person limited point of view, the reader is left wondering, much as Edward is, about Bella’s interest in him and what exactly she suspects. With the story’s premise effectively placing their romance on “pause” until Bella’s been given the time and life experience to grow into a mature young woman with the self-confidence to forge out on her own, there’s a much greater sense of equality between them. She speaks her mind, clarifies possible misunderstandings before they can arise, and proactively asks him out – none of which the Bella of Twilight, so hyper-aware of her own perceived inferiority, would have been capable of doing. Likewise, the realization of his devotion to Bella and the time spent in self-imposed exile have brought Edward to important levels of self-acceptance. In the most recent chapter, he defends his desire to pursue a relationship with Bella,
“I have done everything this family has ever asked of me!…I’ve been alone for almost a hundred years… think about that, Rosalie. Think about it! And now I have this one chance for happiness…one… and you would begrudge me that?”
It was always Edward who most begrudged himself an ounce of happiness, so to see him fighting for this love is refreshing. This is one story I’m happy to break my self-imposed hiatus from Twific AU’s to read (the minute it posts), and I hope you’ll join me in encouraging windchymes in doing what she does best: taking the best pieces of the Saga and polishing them until they shine.
I have to admit that I’ve been sitting on this recommendation for a long time–not because I didn’t think this story was awesome. I do. I just was waiting for it to complete because I know you’re going to yell at me when you read it and know that we are so close to it being done and you’re going to want more.
windchymes is an amazing writer. The way she describes everything going on around them is so real. She has taken that “What if Edward had convinced them to leave straight away” question and given us what we really want: Edward and Bella were destined to meet, no matter what.
*swoon*
I really love this story and how close it is to canon, without being canon. I love the undeniable feeling between them:
While Bella fumbled with her key in the lock Edward wished desperately that he knew what she was thinking. Her hair shielded her face and he reached out a slow, gentle hand to move it over her shoulder.
At his touch she looked up, eyes wide and unguarded, and if Edward had wished he could read her mind, he didn’t need to now. Because it was there in her eyes.
She felt it too.
Edward’s breath stilled in his chest. He lost himself in her gaze as he let this revelation sink in and settle. And find its home in his heart.
She felt it too.
His fingers trembled as he touched her cheek and she smiled. Her skin coloured, warm and crimson, as her eyes held his.
“I don’t usually invite guys home,” she said. And despite her blush, her voice held that quiet confidence again. “I don’t want you to think…”
“I don’t,” Edward said quickly. “I don’t, Bella.”
Whether you normally read AU fics or not, you must have an appreciation for canon-Edward, or you probably wouldn’t be here. Check out The Decision–you won’t regret it!
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