Waxing Romantic by Demosthenes

Waxing Romantic
http://twilighted.net/viewstory.php?sid=11216&index;=1
Word Count: 5,992

Official Description: A football game, too much beer, and Edward Cullen learns the hard way that you should never, ever piss off a pregnant woman. My entry for the Haiti compilation put together by MsKathy.

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Kassiah says: I’ve never read anything by Demosthenes before but stumbled upon this little gem while doing a fic dive a few days ago. Written for the Twifans for Haiti Compilation, this one/shot is funny and well-written.

Waxing Romantic starts out with Edward trying to bargain with Emmett:

“I’ll do your taxes this year.”

I don’t want to give too much of the story away, but Edward finds himself about to be subjected to a brozilian wax due to a bet with Emmett’s pregnant wife, Rosalie. Suffice it to say, he’s nervous. When Bella, his beautiful esthetician, walks in, he’s immediately smitten.

What follows next is exactly what we’d hope for and expect (well, almost everything we’d hope for).

“Okay, we’re gonna start here,” she said, running two fingers along my balls. Her voice was lower than before, and I couldn’t stop the moan that forced it’s way from my throat. “I’ll need your help with this, so if you could hold your hand here,” she asked, taking my hand and placing it on myself. The combination of both our hands there made my eyes roll back into my head.

She left her hand resting on my thigh while she grabbed the first stick of wax. When she spread it over my scrotum, the warmth made my balls shrink up nice and tight. I was able to hold back my moan this time, but it actually felt good.

“Hold tight,” she murmured, pressing a cloth strip over the wax. I looked down as she placed one hand over mine and grabbed the strip. We locked eyes, and seeing her there, and feeling her there, it just felt too good, too wonderful, too perfect.

And then it didn’t.

…rrrriiippppp…

“HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK!”

It’s hilarious. And kinda sweet. The comedic buildup is totally right on time. Throw in realistic dialogue, Bella assuming he’s gay, some bling-bling, and Edward stroking himself with a little No-Scream Cream, and this is a story you do not wanna miss.