Reviewing and Recommending your Favorite Books and Twilight Fanfiction
When Edward and Bella throw themselves into a long-distance relationship, they don’t realize that sometimes the mileage is not the biggest obstacle in the path of love. Stephenie Meyer created Edward; I made him say “Bloody hell.” AH, AU.
Official Description: B & E have always had a spark between them, though they’re now ex-flames. But their latest assignment- to investigate the strange happenings in Forks- is about to light a fire under both of them. But it’s just the town…right? Canon couples. M. Romance, humor, supernatural elements. B & E are human.
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Twilight + X-files + Castle = Whatsmynomdeplume’s Once More, With Feeling (oh hi, Buffy reference!)
We are introduced to the story by getting the run-down of the Paranormal Investigative and Supernatural Services Division. Haven’t heard of it? Not surprising; it’s a secret division of the FBI. PISSD (What? It’s the acronym!) has called in their Special Investigation Agents (and ex-lovers, because hell, let’s make it interesting!), Bella Swan and Edward Masen. The case is a special one in Bella’s hometown of Forks, where her estranged father is the Chief.
To say that neither is particularly pleased with their pairing would be an understatement.
“No!” Both Bella and Edward reach the same conclusion in unison and explode in a flurry of protestation.
“After everything that’s happened—”
“You’ve got to be kidding me!”
“Is she still even field rated?”
“I just told you I was!”
“Yeah, because I’m going to believe what you say.”
“Yes, well you do have a tendency to underestimate my capabilities.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“Just that—”
“Enough!” Both bickerers fall silent immediately. “Yes, Agent Swan and Agent Masen, you will be working on this case together.” He [Aro] holds up his hand and glares, squelching their protests just as they start. “Speak. One at a time. Like rational adults and the fully trained agents you are. Otherwise, you’re off the case and on paperwork duty.”
Throughout the three posted chapters, it’s clear to see that while the back and forth between these two is hostile, there is something more that is lurking underneath. Each looks for the other’s reactions to comments, pushing and urging that reaction further.
So he tries again. “I mean, this could either be an entire crock of shit and a complete waste of our time or we could be trying to head off a pandemic.” Still no answer. “That could take over the world.” Nothing. “Then we’d all be doing stuff like these crazy townies.” Nada. He wonders if she’s maybe just not listening to him. “I mean, your fa… Chief Sw… the contact has put together some pretty worrying evidence.” Still, she stares at the file, giving no indication she’s heard a word of his babbling. “What exactly is going on in this place?” He decides to test her. “Sometimes, I like to wear women’s underwear.” It’s quick but he sees it, the flicker of her eyes, straining against the urge to meet his, the quirk of her lips, quick and almost imperceptible. She’s listening. He’s pleased. “What kind of bat-shit crazy town are you from, Swan?”
So what’s going on in crazy town a.k.a. Forks? What’s the back story between the Special Agents and just why did they break up when they clearly have some seriously pheromone mojo dancing between them? I must know. Many unanswered questions that Whatsmynom has set up, ripe for the plot picking!
Still not convinced?
But the biggest problem with Bella and Edward was not that they both had different opinions on who was the ender vs. the endee, or whether infidelity, or at least betrayal, had occurred. No, their biggest problem was arguably the single most shitty thing about having to spend a lot of time around an ex.
That person has seen you naked.
There’s a certain dynamic you share with someone who’s seen you naked. It’s the dynamic of power. Power where they can turn around and say, “I can see you naked whenever I want—even if you don’t let me anymore. All I have to do is remember it”. It’s that, out of the blue, the person could call you and say, “I am picturing you naked right now as I walk down the street” (or “as you sit next to me in this car”). It’s odd and can be uncomfortable, can feel exploitative and awkward, but the one thing it absolutely is is irreversible.
It’s all of the above and ten times more true if you still find said ex attractive.
I’ll see you over there.
There’s not much to Once More, With Feeling yet – only 3 chapters so far – but it’s definitely a goofy, fun roller coaster ride so far. To me, it feels sort of like a cross between The X-Files and Men in Black, drawing on the supernatural aspect and sexual tension of the former, combined nicely with the humorous view of the paranormal and weird provided in the latter.
There’s really not much else I can say because, really, you have to read it to understand, but it’s a light read, so hop to it!
But the biggest problem with Bella and Edward was not that they both had different opinions on who was the ender vs. the endee, or whether infidelity, or at least betrayal, had occurred. No, their biggest problem was arguably the single most shitty thing about having to spend a lot of time around an ex.
That person has seen you naked.
There’s a certain dynamic you share with someone who’s seen you naked. It’s the dynamic of power. Power where they can turn around and say, “I can see you naked whenever I want—even if you don’t let me anymore. All I have to do is remember it”. It’s that, out of the blue, the person could call you and say, “I am picturing you naked right now as I walk down the street” (or “as you sit next to me in this car”). It’s odd and can be uncomfortable, can feel exploitative and awkward, but the one thing it absolutely is is irreversible.
It’s all of the above and ten times more true if you still find said ex attractive.
So there’s your sexual tension and lulz all wrapped up in one. Enjoy, little fictionees!
I don’t know what I can say about Once More, with Feeling to convince you to read it because I really can’t explain it in a review.
There are many types of magic in the world. There’s the type of magic between a man and a woman—the sparks and stuttering hearts, the sex and the heat. There’s the type of magic in a smile between strangers, linked in a moment by their one simple action. There’s even magic in a lonesome moment, where a sinking sunset or a beautiful vista births intangible dreams and indescribable feeling.
And there’s the type of magic that none of us are quite sure exists. The magic that goes bump in the night. The magic that gives you goose bumps and prickles on the back of your neck. The magic that keeps your nightlight lit well past childhood. You know… not magic but Magic.
This story is different. It’s funny. It’s hot. It’s…different. You have to check it out!
Official Description:Running a thriving tavern should make Edward Masen happy. But happiness only arrives in his life along with the ship that carries the precious spices that are the key to his success, and his heart could cause everything he has worked for to fall into ruin
Word Count: 8,637
If you are a slash person, particularly a Edward/Jasper slash person, or hell, if you read anything at all, you NEED to read this one-shot. It’s amazing. It is in my Top 5 favorites, and I dare say it is Numero Uno on that list.
Did I mention that I love it?
So what’s the deal? What does bookbag do that makes this story stand out so boldly in my mind? Simply put, the concept is brilliant.
This isn’t just slash, my darlings, it is historical fiction. There are a few good historical fiction out there in the Twi fandom, but let’s be honest – they’re few and far between, and I’ve never seen any others that are slash. Even if you’ve only ever read non-Twilight-related historical romances, you’ll understand that there is just a certain quality about the good ones that sets them apart and makes you really feel like you’re a part of the story, even if you have absolutely no prior knowledge of the time period or lifestyles.
Spice of Life drops readers into Portsmouth with wealthy Englishman Edward who chooses to maintain his dank and dirty tavern, serving deliciously spiced foods and copious amounts of alcohol to sailors and other riffraff who pass through. Why does he stay, though?
Three more days.
I prayed a squall hadn’t delayed the ship. I remembered the fortnight delay of a few years ago, when there had been reports of severe weather in the Cape of Good Hope and it had been agony. I had grown pale and waxen, my body gradually began to fade. The meals prepared below in the steaming kitchen grew blander as they eked out the precious powders and reused the cardamom pods. I stopped eating. The regulars stopped buying meals and only drank, until the air reeked of desperation and discontent; mine and theirs. There was no flavour to my life without the arrival of spices.
We’re not just talking about seasonings here. The “flavour” he yearns for is someone very special – someone he has had this ongoing, difficult relationship with for many years – his merchant sailor and provider of spices, Jasper (who also happens to be the keeper of his heart).
But their stations in life and the danger they would both face if exposed keep them from having what they ultimately desire. Not to mention the longing for one another that seems to compete with fear that something will have changed when they meet again, nearly half a year from their last reunion. Gah! Definitely tugging on the heart strings!
This story is simply wracked with emotions and unfulfilled need. Don’t misunderstand – there is a lemon, and it is effing brilliant and hot, but what they both seem to crave is so much more…ideally, more time together.
Oh, god. This was even better than I had remembered. Nothing could compare to this feeling. I felt a flash of pain as I thought of life without Jasper, before my brain shied away. I couldn’t bear to consider it.
If that doesn’t make you ::heartclench:: and run off to read, how about this:
“Sometimes I just want to get off the ship on some tropical island, and vanish completely. Somewhere where no one knew me, and I could be myself, living in the sun, and never coming back.” His tone was wistful.
I chided myself for my selfishness even as I flinched in pain at the thought of the spice ship coming into harbour without Jasper on it. I knew I would not be able to continue to live here, watching it come and go, but with all meaning removed from its movements. What good would spices be to me without Jasper?
Do it! Take Edward with you!
Is that realistic, though?
In the end, bookbag does a lovely, wonderful job of creating a resolution for these two beautiful men that allows them to be together, fulfill their goals in life, and provide the hope for a future neither had ever anticipated. You will squee and “aww” over it – that’s a promise!
Official Description: Newly divorced and single mom Bella decides it’s time to let loose and have some fun at her friend’s Halloween party. After an encounter with an alluring stranger, Bella’s life turns upside down. AH-Cannon Couples. A one-shot turned multi-chapter
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Who doesn’t love anonymous sex with a masked sex god? Well I’ve never personally had anonymous sex with a masked sex god, but I’d like to think it would be exciting!
Beautiful Stranger has owned me since day one! The story was originally a one-shot for Things That Go Bump in the Night Halloween contest last year. I was a judge in said contest, but it was anonymous and I had no idea that the lovely NJNYTwiGals had written it. With that aside, it was one of my favorite entries.
The first chapter of this fic is the original one-shot and it’s amazing right from the start! We discover that Bella is a single mother at twenty-one and her adorable daughter’s sperm donor is a deadbeat dad.
Bella has all odds stacked against her; Charlie and Renee don’t speak with her nor will they help her out because they feel she’s made bad choices in her life. James (said sperm donor) spent the majority of his time drunk, leaving Bella to care for their newborn on her own, which in turn caused her to drop out of college. James’ posh, well-to-do family wants nothing to do with her and thinks she’s a gold digging whore. Of course, she’s not, but they only believe their drunken son.
She’s left to create a home for her daughter and herself, alone. With not many options, she becomes a daycare instructor. At least she can take her daughter to work with her and still pay the bills.
One year after the divorce from James and Bella is still living in her bubble of contentment with her daughter until Alice decides it’s time for Bella to bust out of her bubble. Bella attends Jasper and Alice’s annual Halloween party and the magic of the night consumes her! Of course, Alice forces her into a slutty Halloween costume. Bella’s inner monologue definitely had me giggling when it came to her costume!
“I looked like Snow White’s evil prostitute twin…Walt Disney would be so proud.”
A mysterious Phantom of the Opera appears, seemingly from thin air, when Bella retreats to the backyard for air. They spend time talking, but never exchanging names or any depressing life stories. One thing leads to another and bada bang, bada boom…anonymous sex with a masked, dirty-talking stranger! (Although he does take off his mask for the sex.)
The lemon is steamy and definitely had me running for a cold shower! From finger sucking to kitty licking, these girls don’t disappoint with the details! My absolute favorite line of Bella’s inner monologue during the heat of the moment:
“He can do any damn thing he wants as long as he never stops talking dirty to me! I think he’s trying to kill me.”
We do find out that the masked, beautiful stranger leaves Bella high and dry with no note or contact information. That makes your heart hurt, but propels you to chapter two.
I have to say NJNYTwiGals have a tasty recipe for a fabulous fic here! Give it a shot and experience some angst, drama, heart fail, fluff, lemons and even some romance! They’ve done a great job and I’m honored to have reviewed this for them!
Beautiful Stranger is the collaborative effort of two very lovely writers and is a sweet, fun read for all you mushy canon lovers.
It starts out hot and smexy when young, single mom Bella goes to her friends’ Halloween party and has a steamy encounter with mystery man she’s made a connection with. The first chapter was originally a one-shot (and third place winner of the Things That Go Bump in the Night contest), so it ends with a bang: a year later, Bella’s “Beautiful Stranger” shows up at the daycare center where Bella works…with his daughter. Oh hai thar, DILFward!
Aaaaaaaaaand I’m hooked!
The thing is, they don’t instantly fall in love and live out their HEA. There is hesitance…resistance…confusion. Friends and family become intertwined in everything, so that obviously complicates things, and Bella is a strong-willed, stubborn woman who has been severely hurt in the past.
What you get is a lot of really freaking cute Daddyward moments, some sweet Momella action…and eventually, a healthy serving of hottness. They work through their lives together – including exes and financial concerns – and their love grows. As a single mom myself, I must say that NJNYTwiGals have done a good job touching on the concerns many single parents (and parents in general) have.
If you’re looking for major angst, you won’t find it here. There’s plenty of drama, but at the root of things, this is a story of romance, family, and moving forward from your past to find true happiness in yourself, your children, your friends, and the person you give your heart to.
Daddyward. Momella. I love them. So when I came across this story when it was a o/s, I was all over that. Beautiful Stranger is a great fic with some drama but not so much that it’ll make you want to crawl under the bed and hide and enough fluff but not so much that you need to see a doctor. An architect maybe.
It’s sweet and funny and real. And it’s hot.
“You were quite handsome in your football uniform,” I told him as I pointed to a picture he had in a frame on his nightstand. “You must have had many girls up here with you,” I teased.
“Isabella,” he said as he took a step toward me, desire still seeping out of every pore on his body.
“Yes?” I responded as I took a step backwards.
“I don’t want to talk about any other girls.” He took another step forward.
“Well, wha…wha…what do you want to do?” I stuttered, now clearly so turned on by this animalistic side of Edward that I was a blubbering idiot. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I took another step backwards, backing right into his desk.
Edward took one last step forward and rested his hands on his desk, on either side of my hips. He brought his face close to mine.
“You,” he growled.
Oh my!
Before I could respond, Edward spun me around so I was facing the desk. I laid my hands flat along the top to support myself as he roughly pulled the bottom of my dress up and slid his hand into the top of my stockings and into my panties.
Give Beautiful Stranger a try–I think you’ll really like it.
Official Description: “I’d never been one of those women who found foreign accents sexy until I met Edward. Now, even plaid made me horny.” Bella is in love with her best friend, Scottish expat Edward, and she’ll do anything for him. Anything. AH. E/B.
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When Kassiah asked me to write a guest review for CTtR, I have to admit I was kind of spooked. You see, I was literally in the middle of writing an email where I was mentioning mac214 (good things, of course). Fandom ESP? Or are we all just attuned to each other in this fandom?
If there were such thing as Fandom ESP, I’d tell you to read my mind right now. But since there isn’t, I’ll take the time to explain what I’m thinking…
CTtR is a humor/romance written by mac214, and like many other readers, I clicked on the story already knowing it was going to be great. Mac never disappoints with her writing. (Yes, that is a fact. I will duel you at high noon if you think otherwise.) The summary for CTtR is as follows: Bella is in love with her best friend, Scottish expat Edward, and she’ll do anything for him. Anything. And by ‘anything’, mac means that Bella will even marry the guy so that he can legally stay in the United States. Sounds peachy, I hear you say. Well, it is and it isn’t. The voice inside Bella’s head keeps reminding her that this is a case of unrequited love; Edward even has a hot Brazilian girlfriend named Senna! And then there’s also the risk of friends, family, and the authorities finding out the marriage is a hoax!
Here is an excerpt from the first chapter that showcases mac’s non-disappointing writing:
“He droned on and on about those stupid beignets, but I hung on every word. That accent. Holy crap. I’d never really been one of those women who found foreign accents sexy until I met Edward. Now, Sean Connery gave me the tingles in inappropriate places because he reminded me of Edward. I couldn’t watch Braveheart without masturbating every twenty minutes. Plaid made me horny.”
Hilarious.
For those of you who are still nervous about a Scottish Edward despite what I have just quoted, I have two words for you: Bonny Knob. BK is what you’ll find if you look up Edward’s kilt. No longer do I associate plaid with my high school uniform, or someone hitting Britney one more time. Edward also happens to be absolutely adorable – he’s loyal to Bella, and his accent is incredibly charming. You must read this story and acquaint yourself with him. If you don’t, Mel Gibson will probably rant at you, because let’s face it, he probably peaked with Braveheart and I don’t think he has anything better to do.
Here’s an excerpt from the wedding:
“Maybe Edward was a good actor; he’d been doing way better than me in terms of acting loving and interested in public. In that moment as I was walking down the aisle of that church, he even had me fooled. He looked… awed. I couldn’t explain it any other way. The smile on his face was almost triumphant, and I had to restrain myself from sprinting to reach him.”
Heartclench.
I mentioned before that Bella has a voice in her head. Also known as Madge, Bella’s voice of reason is a character in itself. Just so you know, the voice in my head is pointing out that I’ve threatened potential readers twice and quoted a passage on masturbation in an effort to get you to read this story. I just don’t want you to miss out, that’s all. Romance usually comes in the form of declarations of love, followed by a wedding. Here, it is the other way around.
For those of you not familiar with my work, I write humor. CTtR is my go-to story for when I want to read humor. So, please, join Clan Cock and share the Scottish Edward love! If you don’t, I’ll be waiting for you at high noon, with Mel Gibson and Britney Spears in tow.
But that’s a shotgun wedding for another time.
For the record, I totally just read belladonna’s mind, and woo-boy, I thought I was a pervert. 
Now on to serious business: Coming Through the Rye. Seriously, I kept seeing this story mentioned on Twitter, and like always, I’m disappointed that I didn’t start it sooner.
Bella is funny, a bit shy, kind of a tomboy… and she’s in love with her best friend. Hopelessly in love with him.
I was the best friend, the idiot who served as his keeper of secrets, designated driver, and rugby compatriot. I wanted him to love me; oh, he told me he did often enough, but the drunken, slurred confessions just served to depress me since it was brotherly love, completely devoid of any romantic notions. I really wanted him to see me as a woman – one that loved every part of him, from his stupid-looking, knobby knees to the tips of his unruly red hair.
Bella soon learns that her best friend, the man she loves, is facing deportation back to his home country of Scotland… and somehow she gets introduced as a possible helper for him to stay in the country.
“Act like I’m in love with you?” My voice sounded unnaturally high to me, and I attempted to modulate it down to the point where dogs around the neighborhood wouldn’t be howling at the sound. “That’s a laugh! I’m far too good for you.”
“What? What’s nae tae love? My charm an’ wit are legend, lass, and don’t forget it!
Once the decision is made, their journey toward marriage and the aftermath of what they’ve done leads Edward to discover feelings he never knew he had before. Even a little bit of jealousy.
“Ye cannae go oot wi’ Brady,” Edward said, completely dodging my request. He stood and stomped over to the table, pointing in my face. “Ye havenae the foggiest whit yer getting yerself intae.”
I didn’t know what I was more pissed off about – that he didn’t pick up his nasty ass fingernails or that he was lecturing me about who I could date. “And you do? You met the guy once.”
“Weel, sae did ye. An’ noo yer practically throwing yerself at him. Are ye nae worried about yer reputation, lass? Yer a marrit wifie!”
Whoa, what? Even Madge was rendered speechless, although she was sputtering and getting ready to throw down on my behalf, something I never thought I’d see.
I narrowed my eyes and swatted his hand away from me. “Excuse me?”
“Ye cannae date, Bella. It juist wouldnae be proper!”
It’s incredibly sweet (and a little bit heartbreaking). But, the story is fantastic. There is an excellent cast of characters in this story that you can’t help but love. Between Bella and her crazy inner voice (who she’s named Madge) that will crack you up and Edward (or Ryeward, as we’ve so lovingly named him) and his boaby, I’m very sure you will love it just as much as I do.
So what are you waiting for? Go read!
I had been told to read Coming Through the Rye by more than one person, and each time I made sure it was on my to-be-read list and moved on. If I had known what a fuckawesome fic I was missing out on, I wouldn’t have kept putting it off.
Normally it’s all about the Edward for me, and this one did not disappoint. But I have to admit, I love Bella too. She’s strong and sexy, and not afraid to push for what she wants.
I was captivated from the first chapter. How could you not love this:
He droned on and on about those stupid beignets, but I hung on every word. That accent. Holy crap. I’d never really been one of those women who found foreign accents sexy until I met Edward. Now, Sean Connery gave me the tingles in inappropriate places because he reminded me of Edward. I couldn’t watch Braveheart without masturbating every twenty minutes. Plaid made me horny.
If you aren’t already reading, you should be. Give Mac214 some love.
IDK why I didn’t read this fic sooner. Actually, I think it had something to do with manips of Rob in a kilt. Manips squick me like nobody’s business. Silly reason for not jumping into a great story, though, right? So I make my apologies to the fic gods (or would they be little demons?) and come here to tell you how much I’m enjoying Coming Through the Rye!
This Bella starts off as a little…odd. She’s obsessed with her best friend. While she’s an intelligent, successful woman, she also has an inner voice with a particularly strong influence on her life…who she’s even named. And in the beginning, Bella’s love sickness is in the extreme – so much so that she’s constantly using humor and sarcasm to hide her true self and feelings from the man who’s supposed to be her best friend.
That was rough for me, BUT it doesn’t take long for her to push through her own doubts and show the readers just how determined she is to make Edward truly see her, even when she’s unsure how it will all turn out. I liked that a lot. I was really crossing my fingers that Bella would pull through and not be the woe-is-me type through the whole story, and she’s definitely not. She can hang with the boys, drink like a champ, and she loves sports. Now that is my kind of girl =)
But I digress. Let’s get to the big focus. All of Bella’s silly doubts revolve around Ryeward. Let me tell you, even though he can be a real ass at times, he is YUM. Readers quickly learn why Bella is in love with him. He’s just so…dude-ish. He makes you roll your eyes as you consider his superficial relationship with the fake-boobed, hairy-bushed (yes, you read that correctly) girlfriend, but in the next minute, he’ll do or say something so sweet or sexy that you’ll forget why you were grumbling at his dumb butt in the first place.
The fact of the matter is, this is an Edward/Bella love story. There are roadblocks and stumbling points, and they have to weed through a lot of the muck in their lives, but they make their way closer to one another, one step at a time. Sure they do it backward by getting married to secure Edward’s visa, then realizing the feelings that have been culminating between them for two years, but that’s part of the fun.
Mac214 obviously has a great sense of humor, and she uses it to make these characters fun and lovable. Emmett is a charmer, his Rosie is sweet and sassy, toss in a couple of OCs to play Emmett’s Scottish parents, and the supporting cast in this fic is just as fun to read as our favorite couple. And did I mention that Jasper writes Westerns and Edward seems to have a fanboy crush on him? *geeks out a little*
mac214 is one of those authors who can write anything and is hardly recognized for her amazing talent. Realistic drama, super hot smut, hilarious humor, and one of the best darkwards I’ve ever encountered–the girl’s a genius. So it’s no surprise that I love Coming through the Rye.
I don’t know what I could possibly add to the reviews already given by everyone, but I do want to tell you that you are seriously missing out if you don’t give this fic a chance. I do also want to say that getting in to Edward’s accent take a little getting used to, but I just think about William Wallace a bit and it’s all good.
This is one of my favorite parts. Bella and Edward are talking about the interview questions they’ll be asked by the immigration services:
I nodded my head and pointed to the question. “I… well, why don’t we start by just saying what our favorite position actually is… you know, individually?” Inside I was laughing maniacally. This was going exactly as I thought it would, discussion of my dead parents notwithstanding. Luckily, I was naturally awkward enough for all of this to come off as if I was just as uncomfortable as he was.
Edward’s face turned pink, and he abruptly released my hand to take another bite of his bagel. He nodded and pointed to me as he chewed. “Ye firscht.”
I chuckled quietly and tried not to stutter. “Well, okay. I… like doggy style.”
His eyes just about bugged out of his head, and he swallowed convulsively. “I, uh, I like that one tae.”
“I guess we have our favorite sexual position then. How many times per week do we have sex?”
“How often would ye want tae?”
“Um, well, we’re newlyweds… I’d say every night at least once.” Hell, if Edward and I were actually doing it, I doubt I’d let him leave the bed. Of course, judging by the size of his dick, I might not be able to move.
“That’s quite a sexual appetite ye’ve got there, lass,” he teased.
“I haven’t had a boyfriend in two years, Edward. A girl’s got needs.”
That wiped the grin off his face. He looked thoughtful for a moment. “Do ye masturbate, then?”
I choked on my own spit and knocked over my apple juice, catching it before it drenched everything on the blanket. “Huh?”
“Och, weel, I mean, should I ken how often ye take care o’ yourself? Yer needs, as ye say… fer interview purposes, o’ coorse. I wank tae or three times per week myself.” Huh. Useful information. I’d have to try to accidentally catch the live show sometime.
“Currently every day, but I suspect if I was actually getting some action it might be less.” Even Madge was impressed with how I managed to get that out without stuttering or blushing. Edward, on the other hand, looked like his head might explode. “Oh, and you should know when I get my period, according to this. It’s generally every fourth Tuesday.”
Edward’s eyes were focused somewhere around my knees. “Do we, uh, do I… how’s oor sex life? Is it good?”
“I would imagine you’re quite… skilled in that department,” I confessed, carefully skirting around the fact I’d seen BonnyKnob McThrobson of Clan Cock under his kilt yesterday.
His head bobbed up, a roguish grin on his handsome face. “Oh, ye do, do ye? Thought aboot it much?”
Only every hour of every day, douchebag, Madge screamed.
Seriously. Go read this right now.
Title: While He Was Away Author: Karen Schreck Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire Pages: 249 pages “This is just something I have to do, okay?” I hear David say. “The right thing.” He cradles my face in his hands. He kisses me hard. Then he lets go of me. His eyes dart from me to whatever’s next. [...]
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