Official Description:
With the help of his nurse, a man tries to put the pieces of his life back together. Will he be happy once the puzzle pieces fit, or will he wish his memories had remained a mystery?
Word Count: 76,009
11
Nov
Forget Me Not by SydneyAlice
November 11, 2011 by · Leave a Comment
12
Aug
The Vagina Monologues by jtmd24
August 12, 2011 by · 3 Comments
Official Description:
What happens when 2 strangers have a 1-night-stand in college? Life. But not the way you planned. It’s raising a foul-mouthed toddler, selling sex toys & trying to make your dreams come true. Oh, and running into your drunken hook-up 5yrs later. AH/AU
03
Dec
Days Like This by Soft Ragoo
December 3, 2010 by · 1 Comment
Official Description: Bella and her newborn adjust to their life together but it seems everywhere they go, they encounter the same man with the captivating eyes and sexy smile. Edward’s life lacks something he desires. Has he been handed a challenge or a reward? All human
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Days Like This by Soft Ragoo is a sweet, funny story about a guy who has a baby fetish, okay maybe not a fetish but he loves babies. This Edward is so sweet and wonderful. The Bella is great and a little crazy but she and Edward click together so well. And Sunshine, oh how I love Sunshine-Edward’s nickname for baby Juliet.
There is some drama, not angst per say, but Edward has some heavy issues with his ex that he needs to deal with and has to figure out how to tell Bella without her thinking he has ulterior motives for wanting to be with her and Juliet.
The misunderstanding that Edward and Bella each have about the other at the beginning of the story is hilarious, though neither of them has admitted to the other what they each thought when first they met.
Edward is so crazy about babies he loves to smell them, but who doesn’t?
That fresh baby smell did me in altogether. She seemed to calm once I cradled her and spoke softly near her head – her peach-fuzzed, baby-smelling head.
This is just ONE of the reasons I love this story and it’s in chapter 2:
“Your Mommy’s pretty great, you know,” I whispered to Juliet as I strolled down the hall, dragging the baby cart behind us. I finally took the opportunity to place a delicate kiss on that sweet head. Heaven.
Oh and Alice as Bella’s BFF in this story is great, this exchange between the two of them talking about Edward is too funny:
I rolled my eyes. “There’s just things about him that are weird.”
“Such as…?”
“Okay, he NEVER calls Juliet by her name. He calls her ‘Sunshine’.”
“That’s sweet!” Alice gushed.
“Alice, he probably calls all the babies that. I don’t think he knows her name! And I swear to god, he smells her!”
She raised just one eyebrow. “Smells her?”
“Yeah! Like, moves in and takes a whiff. Almost every time he comes in. Isn’t that weird?”
It was Alice’s turn to roll her eyes. “Yeah, you’re right. Forget Dr Studman then. He smells your baby. Ew.”
Rosalie is Edward’s sister and she is not the bitchy as she is usually portrayed in fics, it’s nice the relationship she and Edward have they really love each other and have each others backs.
Trust me when I say this story will pwn you and the Edward make your ovaries ache.
If you are looking for a DILFward story, Days Like This is the story for you!
Like Teacher1209 said, it’s sweet and funny. I love how real they are.
“Just stay… I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, but help yourself to whatever you want. I left my spare key and my cell number. If you need anything, just call me.”
His hand pressed against my shoulder, urging me to lie back down and then his long fingers ran through my hair. Shudder, gulp, flood…
“I’ll see you later. Good night, Bella.”
Well how the fuck could I sleep now? I wanted to pull him down on top of me and suck on his shoulder like Juliet had. And then his neck. His bottom lip… He licked it as I stared at him. In all my life, I had never wanted a man so badly. I had just cursed him out – he woke me dammit! And now he made me horny. I didn’t just want a man. I wanted THIS man.
“Bella?” he whispered as I bit my lip so as not to moan. “Are you okay?”
Not okay. Horny. I need you to fuck me Edward. Would you do that for me? “Yeah. Fine. Thanks.” I couldn’t even breathe.
“Okay. Call. And sleep.” He smiled and stroked my cheek.
Oh jesus Edward! Use those long fingers somewhere else! Please? “Thanks,” I whispered again.
When I heard the front door close, I bolted for the bathroom and used his shower. He had said to help myself. He had also said I was his first dinner guest. I guess that meant I was the first to get off with his shower head too. He had a good one; nice choice Edward. Thank you so very much.
Edward’s a guy who had a life plan that didn’t work out. Bella’s a girl who found herself in a situation that she didn’t expect to be in. Together, they come up with Plan B and find that even though life doesn’t always work out the way you think it will, things can be better than you ever imagined.
This fic has one of the greatest Charlies too.
“Justine?”
Her head snapped up. “Charlie? Oh my god!” She hugged him like an old… friend? Interesting. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here for my daughter’s boyfriend’s game… my daughter, Bella…” The smile that had been on Charlie’s face was gone. He was nervous now. And awkward.
Justine turned to me. “Bella… you’re with Edward… and Charlie is your… dad?” A flush crossed her cheeks as she turned to chuckle at Charlie. His cheeks were flushed too. Oh… Ohhhh!
No no no no no…
“You two know each other?” Jasper knew exactly what was going on and couldn’t resist lighting the flame up even higher.
“Yeah, uh… we um, well…” Charlie stammered. Charlie… my dad, who never stumbles over words… ohhhhh! “We met last year, at an emergency response conference.”
“And you responded, huh?”
Definitely check this story out. It’s awesome.
06
Aug
Bad News Bella by 107yearoldvirgin
August 6, 2010 by ·
Official Description: Her glass is half empty. His is half full. Together they may just cause an over abundance of…liquids. Seattle’s #1 anchor and her new camera man may be perfect for each other; if only the truth could be caught on film. ExB – AH – M
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Why should you read Bad News Bella by 107yearoldvirgin? Well, first of all the author, I have read several of her stories and loved each and every one, Eight Days a Week being a personal favorite. Second, Bella is a news anchor, Edward is the camera man and Bella has a problem with saying the wrong thing on air. A perfect example is from chapter 5 that Bella says while on air:
“Tonight we’d like to take a moment to honor a local law enforcement member who got a very prestigious award today. Seattle’s own Officer Riley Biers was awarded the much anticipated Top Cock Award…”
And this epic fail from chapter 3:
‘And then, Edward was crouched in front of me, shielding my face from the flailing legs of the beast and scooping me up from my pile of shit and…that’s…when…I puked on him.’
Followed by this:
“I puked on you…I smell like shit…I have…shit…on…my…hands!”
Bella is attracted to Edward but she has her reasons for thinking that it cannot work with them, none of which have anything to do with the fact that he is a cameraman and she is a lead anchor nor does it have anything to do with a lack of things in common, it’s more of a shall we say ‘physical nature,’ I’ll leave you to decide what that means, or you can read the story and find out for certain.
You get the picture, it’s funny, there is a big of UST it’s a great read. One more word that will hopefully piqué your interest to read this, the most recent chapter title ‘Vagazzled,’ again I will leave that to the reader to figure out what that means.
I hope you take a chance and read this story, I know it has given me a great deal of laughs on days I have needed a break from fanfic HF. Oh and it’s only 8 chapters in so it would not take long to get caught up.
There is nothing that 107yearoldvirgin could write that I wouldn’t love. With that said, even if I didn’t bow down to her greatness, Bad News Bella would be on my list of favorites. It’s witty, fluffy, adorably cute, and as with all of her other stories, it’s absolutely hilarious.
How could you not love this Bella?
He threw a dirty look my way and shook his head while pulling his shirt up a little to get the wetness off of his chest. My eyes landed on the exposed skin of his abdomen while the shirt rose higher and I wasn’t quite sure how long I’d been standing there staring at him, but he cleared his throat to get my attention.
His tummy was pretty.
Pretty tummy.
Want to touch it. A little.
Then there’s Edward, who is completely irresistible.
Company picnics didn’t seem like something I would have been interested in before going to work for WTWI. But they seemed like a hell of a lot of fun if Bella was going to be there. In shorts. And possibly a little tank top where her bra straps would be hanging out.
“I’m a douche,” I lamented and pulled the pillow across my face.
I liked her, which was obvious to anyone within a ten foot radius. But, I liked her for other reasons than just for being hot and successful. She was fun. Funny and quirky and smart…but she was also inadvertently sexy.
If you haven’t checked it out already, run don’t walk. You don’t want to miss out. Trust me.
There are very few authors who are as talented as 107yearoldvirgin. She can take you from the depths of despair to laughing your ass off, from drama to funny, from panting fuckhot to crying in 5.2 seconds. The way she describes things and the feelings that her words evoke–she’s unparalleled.
Bad News Bella is no different. It’s hilarious. But more than that, it’s real.
Grabbing my bottle of wine by the neck, I pulled it sloppily over to my hip and licked my lips. Taking a huge swig of the red, I placed the bottle back on the floor and wiped my mouth with my hand. My vision was growing foggy and I was feeling lightheaded, which made me feel better, if even for the moment.
These pictures were dumb.
And Tyler was ugly.
His repulsive face was in all of these pictures. I snorted a little and folded one in the middle. I looked half decent in that one. Gripping the scissors next to my leg, I held the crease open slightly and stuck my tongue out of the side of my mouth as I concentrated on surgically removing the moron from the picture.
When it was done, I smiled. Now it was just me. Alone.
And that was when it hit me: I was alone. I had no one. Not even that idiot Tyler and his terrible skills in the sack. Or his lady-like ‘come face’ that always made me think he’d be a good cross dresser. At least that was something. Someone.
No I had no one.
Which is when reality set in and I allowed myself to cry.
It’s hot:
Slowly, I pulled each of her shoes from her feet and slid my fingers up the leg of her jeans to remove her socks one at a time. Her feet shifted a little when they were gone and I let my hands remain on her calves, outside of the jeans while I crawled my way up her body, sliding fingers over denim as I did, looking her in the face the entire way.
She didn’t flinch. She didn’t make any move to escape. She wanted this and so did I.
And tonight we would have it.
And of course, it’s funny:
“Seriously. I mean…it’s a really nice situation you’ve got here. It’s pretty.” I looked up into her flush faced and sighed. “I want to, like, live here.”
“What?” She sat up a little, confusion making her face scrunch up.
“I want to live in your Muff Cave.”
Bella leaned back a little and scooted away from me. “Umm…”
“Yeah, I could just…crawl up in there. Live like an Indigenous man. Bring a blanket. You could give me snacks. It would make a comfy house, right?”
“Did you just call my vag a house?” The look of horror on her face struck me as funny. Why was she upset? It was a compliment. At least, I thought it was.
The other reviewers have done a great job at telling you about this fic. You don’t need to see mine to know that you should read Bad News Bella, and not just because she uses giant peens as her story dividers. She’s the renaissance woman of fics, and you will seriously be missing out if you don’t read everything this girl writes.
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