Official Description: A single decision changes life as Edward Cullen knows it. An FGB fic for WhatsMyNomdePlume. New Moon/Eclipse AU.
Word Count: 11,302

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I was recc’d this story on a secret DM from a friend who shares my love for super-mega-extreme-to-the-MAXX-heartcrushing-angst, the kind that leaves your chest hurting after you read it. The kind that you hesitate before clicking to the next chapter because the heartfail was just that intense.

You know up front that the pairing is Edward/Jane, (this is how it’s listed) so the first two chapters of pure heart-hurty-ness should come as no surprise. But Ingenue is my favorite kind of author: the kind that shows instead of tells.

It gets so boring to read line after line, story after story of simple narration: Edward is a brooder. Bella has chocolate brown eyes. Jane is a bitch. Blah. Blah. Blah. Don’t you get so tired of reading the same thing over and over again? Wouldn’t you rather be shown all this, in real time – the way the characters are experiencing it?

“With a trembling but solid hand, Edward pries Bella’s fingers from the robe he wears, and pushes her gently into Alice’s arms. He can’t look at either of them for fear that he will change his mind and ruin the one chance he has to keep Bella safe…”

And just moments later:

“No,” Edward snaps. His hand is harsh when he grabs Bella’s arm, his fingers leaving bruises on her pale skin, and he stares down at her. Her eyes are filled with the beginnings of tears. “Bella,” he says her name softly, almost like a prayer, and she lets out a sob. “Bella, go back home.”

The image of him uncurling her fingers from his robe is one that I haven’t been able to get out of my head for days now. Does a more distinct visual for a forced good-bye even exist?

Further developing her art of showing instead of telling, hands continue to play an important role throughout the story. Palms, fingers, and frustrated fists become motifs throughout it’s five chapters – emotions are shown through clasped hands, or fingertips on cheeks, or heels of palms pushed hard against a chest to throw someone aside. Desires are often describe in a very discernible way as well – Jane’s fire touches and feels, and eventually caresses.

I don’t want to give too much away – this story begins at the end of New Moon and is a new kind of spin on what would have happened had Edward accepted Aro’s offer. What would have happened if he’d stayed in order to keep Bella safe. It’s a story of consequences, and Edward’s constant caustic desire for control.

This is not a love story.

Edward is painted in a shadow, not a light. His thoughts and actions are chillingly deviant, and they reach out of his spoken dialogue/italicized monologue and into the narration itself in the coolest and most subtle way. This is one of the most well executed plots I’ve read in a long time. What she puts Edward through is wonderfully excruciating, and she’s bold as hell for going through with some of the key plot points that symbolize the development of his inner-predator. I don’t know that I could have started or finished a story with this pairing that was written any other way, let alone enjoyed it as much as I did.

She is definitely an author I will be watching for next FGB