Word Count: 3380

Official Description: A broken past, a lost man and a need for salvation. But even love can be found in the remains of scars. My entry for the “When Love Was New” contest.

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mozzer0906 says: This fic is completely different than the style I normally read and recommend, it is the story of Jasper as he walked away from his vampire life and found Alice. It is broken and raw and gritty much like Jasper was during that time. I liked the way the style of writing reflected his disjointed emotions of the time. It was full of emotion and imagery to bring you along with the angst he was feeling at the time. It also showed why he was so devoted to Alice, it explained why she was his salvation from the murderous life he once lived.

It was a short and powerful piece that made me wish we got more of their back story in the books.

My eyes were trained to the ink and flesh and scars and rhythmic circles. I was trying to will away the pain and lifetimes lost, but failing because I—a worthless man—was inept to heal. I was a destroyer. A murderer. A disgrace of flesh and bones. The nerves and brittle psyche housed silently inside were cracking and crumbling with each unworthy breath my lungs greedily sought. I am nothing. I am nothing. I am nothing. The fucking mantra chanted over and over in my skull, pushing me farther—deeper—while the steady circles remained the only anchor.

As the above quote shows, this is not a fluffy work by any stretch, but I loved the way he viewed his many scars as his anchor and it gives such insight into the overwhelming guilt that Jasper felt because as an empath he could feel the pain of his victims. A good short read when you are looking for something that packs in the angst.