Official Description: Before he broke her heart, Edward played Bella’s lullaby one last time. Edward POV of Six Silent Goodbyes. New Moon, canon.
Word Count: 6,773
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When Kassiah asked me to do a review of The Broken Lullaby by VivaViva I was first shocked that she asked, but then thrilled I would have the wonderful opportunity to share a special one-shot written by a very talented writer.
This story was purchased in the Support Stacie auction and is the Edward point of view of his goodbye to Bella in New Moon. VivaViva is also the author of Six Silent Goodbyes, a six-chaptered story detailing each one of the Cullen’s unspoken goodbye to Bella when Edward decides they must move away.
VivaViva has perfectly captured the detailed voice of Edward and begins with him in Bella’s room observing and memorizing, taking notice of all the little details down to the dog-eared books neatly organized on a shelf to her need to vacuum the little throw rug that has collected dirt from her shoes. He thinks about her life and all it could be once he has left, knowing he can never give her the normal life he believes she deserves.
Edward likens his situation to a boy he once heard the thoughts of, who has climbed up to a high dive of a pool excited to make the big jump, but once he starts to step forward he becomes nervous and too scared to jump. In the end the boys father comes to his aid, scoops him up and they jump together.
Now it is he who has climbed to the highest springboard, like the boy, not realizing the predicament he had put himself in. His first step towards the edge is playing her lullaby on his piano one final time. The next step is hiding her physical remembrances of their time together.
I slowly opened my hand, prying my fingers off the keepsakes one by one. The CD was the first to fall from my grasp, hitting the bottom of its new hiding place with a slight, rattling bounce. The tickets fell next, sliding against my palm before disappearing into the crevice in the floor. Then the photos went, plopping into place to remain out of sight indefinitely.
After a few panicked and shaky breaths, I pushed the floorboard back into place, securing it shut.
The nail in the floor was the proverbial final nail in my coffin.
R.I.P. Happiness…
The leap is taking her into the woods and telling her he no longer wants her. Sadly, he doesn’t have anyone to scoop him up and jump with him, in fact when Bella accepts his lies so easily he feels pushed off the diving board.
His internal monologue is a combination of selflessness, selfishness and blindness. Your heart aches as he thinks about his past and the loneliness he experienced living with three perfect pairs and the loneliness he will experience tenfold now that he knows what he is missing first hand. You want to yell at him and tell him that Bella doesn’t have shallow feelings, that she’ll be broken without him, that she’ll still be in danger. He thinks because humans are so fickle that she will change eventually change her mind about him like she would her favorite color. How does Edward, who remembers everything, forget that she is unique and special, that she rarely does what a normal human would do.
I know that as I was reading New Moon, I wanted to know what the heck Edward was thinking, why would he do this. The Broken Lullaby answers all those questions and then gives us so much more.
I’ll be the first to admit that I normally can’t handle angst, not at all. But after hearing Kassiah rave about Six Silent Goodbyes, I had no choice but to read it. The Broken Lullaby was the last addition to this series, and was bought in The Support Stacie auctions. It left me with a deep love for VivaViva, and yes– a broken heart.
The way in which this story is told is absolutely breathtaking, Edward’s emotions have truly been captured in every way.
I was left with only one choice as I heard the doors of other options slamming closed and being bolted behind me.
I could not remain her lover for the rest of her human life.
Slam!
I could not keep watch over her, even from a distance, since the risk of further danger was too great.
Slam!
I could not steal her soul, for love was not supposed to be so selfish.
Slam!
Slam, slam, slam until there was only one choice left… and it terrified me.
In that moment, I began trembling from head to toe on Bella’s bedroom floor, my grief trying to consume me prematurely.
Later… I can do this later.
Even though I read it through tears, The Broken Lullaby is a story that I tell everyone to read. It’s hauntingly beautiful and not to be missed.
Good canon is hard to find, but VivaViva did a beautiful job in this companion piece to her Indie Twific Award winner, Six Silent Goodbyes. In the aformentioned title, each of the Cullens give their perspective on their departure in New Moon. It is beautiful and heartbreaking, and all the while, the voice of each character feels genuine. The Broken Lullaby is Edward’s opportunity to tell his side.
First things first, you know you’re headed for some angst, so if you’re a crier, have your tissues ready. Edward begins in Bella’s bedroom on the day he’s leaving, preparing to see her and still coaching himself on what he should say. He doesn’t want to go, but he’s continuously trying to convince himself it’s for the best. The story eventually moves into the breakup scene, and seeing it through his eyes, as interpreted by VivaViva, is crushing.
“You… don’t… want me?”
In that moment, she looked small to me, every bit the little girl Charlie still imagined her to be.
“No.”
I steeled myself for her fight. It sickened me to do it, but I had a laundry list of arguments in my head at the ready. Her fragility, her clumsiness, and more sweet attributes were all about to be twisted back on her and thrown in her face.
“Well, that changes things,” she spoke evenly.
She shoved me off the diving board.
What?
There was suddenly a swooping sensation in my gut, and I nearly gave into the urge to collapse to the ground.
She… believes me? Just like that? Bella, why?
My beautiful muse, the heart and soul of my music and life… did not want me either? At least not enough to fight?
Her rejection was a fist slamming down on the piano keys in my mind with crushing force, gutting her lullaby with all the finesse of a rusty blade.
BRB, heartfail.
New Moon AUs often ghost over Edward’s feelings about this conversation, focusing more on Bella’s heartbreak, but in considering his side of things – the agony he must have gone through to leave his love – readers will see him in a new light.
Of course, there are reflections on the title – to Edward’s last opportunity to play Bella’s Lullaby before leaving her and how he metaphorically carries it with him throughout this brief perspective. The word’s VivaViva creates are haunting, and I’m sure you’ll want to snuggle and comfort Edward as much as I did.
Thankfully, we can rest assured in the knowledge that Bella and Edward are eventually reunited, Edward having learned his lesson and gaining the understanding that they were truly made for one another. This is canon done so well that Stephenie Meyer herself probably wishes she had written it. If you enjoy this and haven’t read Six Silent Goodbyes, be sure to do that as well!
It’s no secret that I consider Six Silent Goodbyes to be one of the best, most well-written stories that I’ve ever had the honor to read, and that I think EVERY Twilight fan should read it. I think it should come as a companion to New Moon, really because it explains so much. With that being said, I’m negl, I didn’t want to read The Broken Lullaby.
SSG is so beautiful and downright haunting, I didn’t think my poor little wuss-perv heart could take it. Guess what?
I was right.
The Broken Lullaby will make you want to scream and cry and have a drink for Edward at the same time. It’s amazingly well-written and my rob, it’s so, so sad. He’s…broken. Viva Viva captures Edward’s thoughts and feelings so authentically. I found myself holding back the tears from the very beginning, as he surveys Bella’s room, and wanted to tell him to stop as he thought about her in her forties, looking back on their time together and no longer being bitter, but having a happy, child- job- and husband-filled life.
Just like in SSG, where I felt that Alice’s actions were explained, Viva Viva gives us insight into exactly how Edward arrived at the conclusion in his mind that Bella could be okay, and move on, without him:
I had heard plenty of stories about the changeable nature of humans. I had heard the one about a dancer who became a lawyer, who became a writer, who graduated from college and became a teacher. I had heard the one about the couple who stood before a roomful of their family and friends to recite vows of eternal love and devotion, then reneged and unsaid it all by signing a piece of paper.
How often did people change their favorite color? Their favorite food? Their favorite movie? Their favorite hobby? Their goals and passions?
I had no doubt of Bella’s sincerity in the moment, but the future was less certain. As Alice had proven time and time again, one need only breathe differently to push the precarious chain of future events in the opposite direction. To some in my family, it highlighted the flimsiness of human nature. To me, it looked like freedom.
Reliving Esme’s moments from SSG were heartwrenching enough. But then…
“No!” she screamed, her words full of anxiety and bordering on begging. “This is about my soul, isn’t it? Carlisle told me about that, and I don’t care, Edward. I don’t care! You can have my soul. I don’t want it without you—it’s yours already!”
Oh, God. I’m going to have to say it, aren’t I?
I had thought of this possibility, the possibility that she would refuse to let go, but I hated what I would have to do and say to set her free. It was so incredibly cruel to make her doubt every word, every feeling, every glance, and every touch which had ever passed between us. Making her believe she had been living a lie for the past eight months was unkind and unfair, but it would be worse to leave her with hope.
I steadied myself with a calming breath and focused on the forest floor, unable to look at her while I prepared to speak the greatest lie of all. Once I was ready, I hastily smoothed out my features again and whipped my gaze up to hers.
I stepped up to the edge of the diving board.
“Bella, I don’t want you to come with me.”
*sob*
As much as I want to tell you that you must read this, just be sure that you have some tissues on hand. Viva Viva has promised that she’s writing Six Silent Hellos over the summer, chronicling each Cullen as they are ready to be welcomed back into Bella’s heart and life. I am petitioning and requesting right now that she makes it Seven Silent Hellos. She gets Edward in a way that unlike any other, and I want to hear from him again. I implore you, read this one-shot. Then, if you love me at all, beg her for the sequel.
. One of my very favorite parts came from JPOV, which is in Chapter 2:
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