#TrendingTopic: Angst in Slash Fic

Why so serious, fandom?

I wanted to talk about the trend of angst, specifically self loathing/sexual identity rooted angst in slash fics. I have been in the fan fiction game for a long time (over ten years, if you want to count and make me feel really old). Slash fan fiction is often pointed to as the birthplace of fan fiction as we know it today. With such an illustrious start, why is it that sometimes I feel like slash fan fic is painfully redundant and misdirected? I know that sounds harsh, but if you don’t know me already, it’s best for you to be advised, I’m going to give it to you straight. No matter what.

There is one main issue when it comes to writing slash (or anything else for that matter):

It’s hard to write about what you don’t know.

There will always be new and often inexperienced writers picking up slash fic, and thinking it’s easy; “It’s just like boy/girl sex, right? Same thing, different hole?” No, Susie, if it were that easy everyone would be fucking each other in the ass. Just kidding, well, kinda.

Let’s face it, most fic writers are not gay men, yet slash is often about gay men, and it’s most often written by straight women. This doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker. An effective writer who does her research and respects her characters can create an amazing story about any subject, and certainly there is some really good slash out there which proves this. However, if the kind of care that I mentioned above is not taken with the subject matter, at best you’re left with inaccurate smut, and at worst you’re left with a very dangerous message.

It’s that dangerous message that I wanted to address today.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I feel like I must confess that I am not straight. I first came out as bisexual when I was fifteen. My best friend Shane and I came out to each other during a late night phone conversation, where I confessed that I thought Sinead O’Connor was really pretty, and he confessed that he thought Leonardo DiCaprio was really good looking. It was a relief to have someone else to talk to about it.

We lived in a small Alaskan town, you might have heard of it, Wasilla (thanks Sarah Palin). Small towns can breed small minds, and a lot of blind religious bigotry. Because I came from a larger town and was raised by an open minded foster mother, I was somewhat immune to the brainwashing and bigotry. My best friend was not so lucky. His family was very religious and his father was a prominent conservative politician in the area. So while I was being gently supported by my foster mother and family, I got to watch my friend deal with the horrors of being gay in a small, conservative town. It wasn’t pretty, I can tell you.

I’m sharing this because I have seen personally – with my own eyes – the favorite babies of angst slash fic.

Bashing and Self-Loathing. Let’s look a little closer, shall we?

Bashing – If you love me, stop hitting me.

If I were to sit down and try to count all the slash fics that have employed gaybashing to develop a romantic plot, not just in the Twilight fan fic world, but fan fiction as whole, I would be here for YEARS. This is not an exaggeration. The numbers are staggering. I do believe that there is validity in telling the stories of victims, and trying to understand the root of this violent act. What I do not condone is the use of it as a plot device for romantic fiction. It astounds me how many basher/victim love stories are floating around.

On a base level, I can see the appeal of a story of this nature. There are enough straight romances out there where the heroine discovers her former childhood tormentor actually harbored a secret crush on her. This type of story softens the harsh, unflattering reality of victimization, making it seem less a violation, and more of an act of misguided admiration. Whether you’re straight or gay, this is a dangerous road.

A relationship between a victim and his/her abuser is not, and cannot be, healthy. This is as true for bashing victims as it is for rape victims. Trust cannot exist where violence and abuse has created the foundation for the relationship. Sex should never take place when there is no trust. Sex that is safe and consensual is erotic. Or least it should be.

Self Loathing – I hate myself because I’m supposed to.

Coming out is never easy. It doesn’t matter if you’re 13 or 30, accepting and expressing your sexuality is a life changing event. Fear, self doubt, and depression are often a part of the process of coming out. We all see this, especially in this age of modern media where coming out stories have reached a saturation point. The good, the bad, and the ugly are out there; in movies, TV and books. The image of the self loathing and self destructive gay teen is so well known it could be called cliché.

Again, I don’t think that respectfully portraying the struggle of a gay youth coming to terms with their sexuality isn’t valid, it certainly is. Many, if not most, people who come out are able to make peace with their sexuality and go on to have a lifetime’s worth of relationships and have hot, steamy sexual encounters completely devoid of self hatred. This is the stuff that fics are made of.

It would be awesome so see some characters portrayed with real life struggles who just happen to be gay.

Where are all the happy, well-adjusted gay characters? You know, where Emmett and Edward Meet on a float in the Pride Parade, or Rose and Leah Meet at a bar called The Backdoor where they laugh at the people doing the electric slide to Melissa Etheridge?

I’m still waiting for a Priscilla Queen of the Desert Crossover.

It’s gotten to the point where I feel obligated to thank authors for writing slash stories that aren’t wrought with violence and self loathing. Sometimes it’s enough of a journey to allow your characters a connection that feels true, without employing the angst of denial or hatred of their sexual identity.

I could begin to speculate about why writers tend to concentrate on these avenues of slash, when there are so many places unexplored, but for the sake of brevity, I’ll give the benefit of the doubt to say that I think most are following a formula for success. They’ve read the coming out stories or those which created sympathy for a character because of the violence that he was subject to because of his sexuality, and it sparked an idea.

Don’t get me wrong, angst is totally cool, but a great writer will use the pain & adversity of angst to develop and mature their characters, create a catharsis that will serve a valid purpose to the story.

One of the most positive by-products of the popularity of slash is the opportunity for people to be exposed to homosexual relationships in an intimate way. It creates a rare opportunity for understanding. Reading about and falling in love with gay characters can be an eye-opening experience to someone who may not otherwise have had that opportunity in real life. Painting all gay relationships and characters with violent pasts, and full of self-hatred sells short all parties involved.

So, please, dare to be different. Put the gay back into gay sex.

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Einfach Mich is a self proclaimed loudmouth and wanna be writer. She has tried her hand at writing slash both in AU canon (Carlisle/Aro) Behind the Throne and AH (Edward/Jacob) Walk in Beauty. She has written 22 Twilight fan fiction stories, to date. Her current mulit-chapter story Confessions of a Difficult Woman features a bisexual Leah in an unconventional romance with Edward Cullen. You can get a daily dose of her ranting on twitter @einfach_mich. Special Note: Jeanne (aka Einfach Mich) would not have been able to sound nearly as articulate and knowledgeable in this article if it were not for the skillful guidance of Chele681. She is the other half of Jeanne’s brain and soul. Please do not fault Chele for having a freak for a soul mate.